Page 24 of Naughty Irish Fate
“Beautiful baby.” I reach for her. Until she winces with a shake of her head. That kills me. Fuckinggutsme.
Rocking slowly her hands go to her throat. Tears sting my own eyes as I watch her touch the marks I left there.Fuck me. I am a shit. Absolute piece of shit. This is all because of me. Should never have brought her out here and done this to her.
“Tell me how to make it better, Wyn.” I know she can’t talk so it’s a stupid fucking thing to say.
Sliding from the bench to crouch in front of her, I wait. Wrap my arms tight about her waist, press my face to her belly and wait. I don’t say more stupid shit or ask her to do a thing. I just sit with her while she goes through it.
Bronwyn moves slowly. Reaches out to touch me gently. I know once I feel her touch at the back of my neck, we have gone way too far. I am way too gone way too fast for this woman. I would give anything to make her feel safe and whole.
“Water does it sometimes. Feeling things I don’t know how to contain. Sometimes darkness or the smell of bourbon does it. It was not you, baby. Look at me, Rook.” Tipping my head back, I gaze up into her eyes and know it’s there for her to see. Know she can see everything she makes me feel. Things I have no fucking business showing her I feel. No businessfeelingat all.
Christ do I feel it though.
Looking into her soft eyes as they hold mine, I feel it everywhere.
Feel her in my gut making me want her again. In my chest making me ache to soothe her. In my fucking soul. I want her today and tomorrow and every fucking day after. I know I can’t ask that of her.
For knowing each other just a few days, we have shared the important stuff few people ever do. I know about her father. About how she lost her mother. I told her how I never went back to Belfast after I lost my own mother.
Hell, she knows I want to partner with Hyde for our own fleet. I know she doesn’t want to run the pub she runs just to keep her family memories alive. Plenty of important things it sometimes takes too long to learn about someone.
“Did I hurt you my beautiful baby?” I reach up to touch her throat, groaning when fire lights in her eyes and she whimpers.
“Oh, baby,” Her voice purrs as my thumbs skim over bruises already marking her fair skin, “No. God no, Rook.” Bending, she touches her brow to mine and licks at my mouth. I want to drag her into my lap and shove inside her again. Make it make sense.
We make sense every time I am inside her.
On dry land we do not make sense. Looking at her beautiful face with her eyes shining, I think she knows it too. Something deep in my chest rips open. I know it doesn’t matter if we know important stuff or make sense when we touch each other.
It only matters that we do not make sense where it matters.
Sadness so great it feels as if I am drowning swamps me. Drags me under. I kiss her lips before gently shoving away. With a touch of a button and a crank of the wheel, I aim us back towards Shore Ridge.
After docking we head for the pub. I bring her close and refuse to let her go until we get to her place. Once we get there, I can’t leave her. Not tonight. Not yet.
Should head back to the docks and get the fuck out of here before I ruin us both. Instead I sit with her as she preps to open. Every time I try to walk away from her, I shove myself further into her life instead.
“Explain that fucking jukebox, Wyn.” After silence for too long, it comes to life on its own, playing one of the few songs it plays.
“My Grams got it for them to dance. It was loaded with some of their favorites. After they... were gone, I took out ones that were too hard to listen to.” Darkness floods her eyes. I want to take it away so I reach out to cover her hand with mine.
Twisting her wrist, I bend over the bar to brush my lips over her skin. I ache for her loss and for how she holds on to it. How this place must give her no choice. From the pub to the pier, it's all memories for her.
“Wyn, what keeps you here?” Been wondering since we met, about time I asked her.
“Don’t know where else I would belong.”With me, I think. You could belong with me.
Before I can offer such a foolish answer, her waitress Trudi comes in. The two discuss plans for the night as they expect a crowd. It is a just a few days before St. Patrick’s Day and it seems the town remembers its Irish roots in grand style.
Getting out of the way for a bit, I wander around the pub. Take in the walls lined with photos. Mostly photos of townsfolk and previous holidays at the pub. Plenty feature my beautiful baby with who I figure is her grandparents.
As she grows in the photos, getting more beautiful, darkness leaves her. From a sad little girl who just lost her mother to the vibrant woman I now know, she grows and changes in the photos. Until more recent ones where that darkness seems to return. Once again, that ache in my chest returns.
For the first time since leaving home, I don’t want to leave. I want to be right here with her to chase her darkness away. Keep it away. Looking out the windows facing the sea, I think about what that means.
“You will meet a woman who will make you stop searching the seas.”Hyde’s promise comes back to me as my eyes swing back to Wyn.
Is that what this is? Is it possible I finally found something that makes me want to stay put? No way. No fucking away. I want her, yes. How could I not? We share a connection, no doubt. Unlike any I have ever known with another woman. With anyone, honestly.
Strong enough to keep me from wanting to roam?
All I have ever known is leaving.
Has Bronwyn made me consider staying after nothing and no one else in my entire life ever has?
