Page 32 of Naughty Irish Fate
I can’t hear a promise.
I can’t hear him offer me something I want more than I want to breathe. I need him to just let it go. Just get on his fucking ship and shove off. Like the others do after they’ve left their wreckage in Shore Ridge.
“Stop. Please, please. You are hurting me.” I croak, voice tight with tears, with anguish.
Rooker knows I don’t mean the marks or the weight of him atop me. I mean his words. I mean his offer of something I can never depend on. Shaking my head, I twist my wrists away from where he has them pinned, drawing in on myself.
I almost wish for a panic attack. Rooker doesn’t handle those well. It would give me a reprieve. I feel nothing. Nothing at all. Besides the pain burning in my gut and spreading through my chest.
“Please. I don’t want to hurt you. I need to go. I don’t want to. I want to come back Wynnie. Iwillcome back.” Suddenly, I see the coin on the table beside my bed.
“Flip me for it.” Struggling beneath him, I twist until he straddles me.
Rooker’s eyes are glassy and full of emotions that make that burn inside me lick hotter. My eyes dart away to focus on the sun glowing behind him. We’re breathing heavy and it’s so loud in the quiet between us.
“What do we wager?” Hope leaps in my chest. I don’t think fate will fuck with me when it’s my heart on the line.
“I call it, you walk out right now. No promises.” Finally my eyes meet his and I see the defeat there.
“This is bullshit. Let’s just talk about this, please. Bronwyn. Please.” I blink up at him. It’s the first time he’s used my full name since we met. Two days ago? Three? I don’t even know. Feels like a lifetime now.
“I need this.” Swiping at my tears, I can hear the desperation in my voice but he sighs.
“I call it; we talk about when I come back. We talk about what it means.” Bouncing my shoulders in a careless shrug, I twist to reach for the coin.
Rooker sits up and moves away from me. I almost miss the crushing weight of him. We sit side by side, still wet and naked. We share a look and I take a shaky breath before tossing the coin in the air.
“Heads.” I call in a voice so raw it feels like it tears at my throat.
“Tails.” Rooker is watching me instead of the coin.
I watch it spin through the air and I know how it’s going to land. For the past few days, it’s been against me. First time in my life. Might have gone against me for a greater good, I suppose.
It’s time fate remembered her place.
It spins on the ground before it lands.
Rooker roars beside me. Like a wounded animal.
That sound and the hollow thud of the coin landing will echo in my nightmares forever.
Climbing to my feet, I try to escape.
Rooker catches my wrist to tug me back. Pressing his face into my belly, I swear he’s shaking with sobs. Tears stream down my face though so I can’t be sure. I brush my fingers through his hair. Bend, kiss the back of his neck and then tear away from him.
“Wyn!” A thud shakes the bathroom door after I slam it behind me. I think it’s him banging against it, but again, I can’t be sure.
It goes on for a while.
I can’t feel anything. My ears ring so the shouts I think he’s calling through the door mean nothing. Curled up on the cold tile, I can imagine what my mother felt all those nights sitting on that empty pier.
Rooker is leaving. Part of me will always be waiting for him to return.
