Page 37 of Naughty Irish Fate
“Bronwyn! Bronwyn! You better be here still, Bryan said... Jesus, Christ. Thank God! Bronwyn we need to talk.” I blink at a flustered Trudi who comes barreling into the main room where boxes fill the space.
“Christ on a cracker. What is wrong?” Trudi is always the cool, collected one. Now she looks a mess, eyes wild, chest panting as she holds a hand over her heart.
“Storms came in. Ruddy said... ship went down. Rooker was lost.” Trudi looks as if she might fall apart.
Rooker’s ship went down. Rooker was lost.
Me, I do fall apart. I slide to the floor, back thudding against the door she just stormed in. As my vision blurs and my breath constricts in my chest, I feel like I am dying.
I claw at my throat and shout for help.I’m fine. I am not dying. Part of my brain knows that. But the fucked-up part doesn’t. I claw until I bleed and tears stream down my face and Trudi wails beside me as she tries to comfort me.
Pushing at her shoulders as I pant and sweat and lose my shit completely, I tell her to go away. To take her lies somewhere else. But she’s crying too so I know it's not lies.
Pain chases through my veins like it can’t wait to tear me apart. My chest burns as my heart beats too fast, pumping hard as I struggle to breathe. As I sob and shout my lungs ache as if it’s me sinking beneath the salty seas.
“Oh Bronwyn. Lovie. Ruddy is going to update me again; he knows… about you two.” Trudi keeps talking, doing her best to soothe me but I can’t hear a thing.
As I sit there falling to pieces, I could swear the entire world stops. Just for a few minutes. Long enough for me to feel it end for me. Trudi holds me tight as if she thinks she can hold me together. But I know better.
I began falling apart the minute Rooker walked out. The minute I flipped that fucking coin and forced him to walk out. Now, none of my pieces will ever fit back together again.
Trudi eventually gets me off the floor and leads me downstairs. The pub is closed up tight. Bryan comes to me, holding me tight and I let him even though I don’t feel like being touched. Not by him or anyone else.
Night comes with the two of them doing their best to be there for me. Trudi explains Ruddy is the guy who made her speak in tongues and I think I smile. Doubt it looks like much of a smile.
“Ruddy, will update you then?” Bryan asks as he sits beside me, rubbing me in a move I know he means to be soothing. Really, his touch just hurts and I want him to stop. I don’t say that, of course.
“Once he has news. Last call I got he said the crew was being checked out at a hospital. Can’t believe Rooker took them out with a storm like that coming.” Trudi slams her hand over her mouth when my eyes fly to pin her down.
“Watch yourfuckingmouth.” Bryan tenses beside me and shifts away.
“Lovie I did not mean... I am sorry, Bronwyn, I didn’t...” Tears glitter in her eyes but I don’t care. I twist away from them both and go to the jukebox.
I don’t want to hear their bullshit pity. I love them both. But neither of them know what it’s like to lose someone. Bryan’s grandparents are still kicking around like they won’t quit and Trudi bitches about her parents being too involved in her life. Fuck them both.
After losing literally everyone I have ever loved, I don’t have time to make them feel good about being thoughtless.
Smoothing my hand over the jukebox, I decide I am taking it with me when I go. Too many memories. I want to fill it with Paps and Grams favorite records again. Maybe even my mother’s, too. Hitting a few buttons, I choose the same song I danced with Rooker to.
Pressing my forehead against the glass, I shake with sobs as George Strait fills the silence. I don’t know how I have tears left. I find plenty though. Starting to play the song again, I twist back to ask Trudi and Bryan to give me a minute alone.
Turns out I am already alone.
Or so I think until I see movement in the shadows.
“Dance with me, Wynnie?” Rusty and rough, the brogue bellows soft and sweet in the space between us.
I don’t believe it until I feel it. I feel him there in the darkness.
I am across the floor and in Rooker’s arms before I can even blink. Hoisting me up against his warm body, he presses his face into my neck. I sob like an injured animal as my limbs clutch at him, refusing to let go.
My back hits the jukebox and he peers up at me in the glow of its twinkling lights.
“My beautiful baby. I swore I was coming home to you. Nothing could keep me from you. Not even the storm of the fucking century. You get what this is, Wynnie, baby? You get what you fucking mean to me?” I lower my head and kiss him. Need to be sure he’s real.
“No. Tell me.” I smile against his lips and he laughs. It rumbles through his chest and feels so fucking good as it echoes between us. I start crying again but I’m laughing too.
“Oh, baby. Fate was not letting me get away from you. Made sure I kept my word even if it was a bit dramatic the way she went about it. Bronwyn, you are my siren call. Not the damn sea. Ripped my heart out to walk away from you. Didn’t need a coin toss to tell me you were my fate. I love you, my beautiful baby.” He kisses me hard and sweet, pinning me to the jukebox.
