Page 19 of Naughty & Nice
Chapter Ten
Josie
Naughty or nice.
Sugar or spice.
Why can’t we have both?
As I walk through the adorable town of North Pole once more, I decide we can all have both. We can get it wrong a hundred times—or once for five years—and get it right just once.
Because getting it right, with the right person once, is all it takes.
I didn’t realize I could follow Oliver’s plans of forever after and still go where the wind took me. But I can, I know that now. I learned it the hard way. I learned that letting the wind take me wherever it wanted to—further and further away from him—was not what I wanted. I just wanted choices, but I know now he would have never taken my choices from me.
“I brought you here instead of coming to Harmony Hollow because I thought I needed a little extra magic to convince you. I wanted to remind you how magical the holidays can be. They were never the same after for me and I knew they wouldn’t be again, without you,” I admit with a sigh as we walk through the snowy streets, hands entwined as tightly as our hearts are again.
Aftershocks from thevery naughtybutvery nicetryst in Santa’s chair still pulse through me. We almost went for a second round as I spun on his lap and told him what I wanted from Santa for Christmas. Short list—I want him, and I want us. That is my Christmas wish.
Booming laughter from the man himself—or at least the actor playing him for the season, stopped us. We made it out of the big man’s chair just before kids flooded the little alcove to see him. I should feel a bit guilty for just what we did in that big velvet chair, but I don’t—I think it was just as magical as the falling snow or the twinkling lights in this town.
“If you had come to Harmony Hollow, I don’t know how I might have handled it. I told you I was miserable, and I was. I call it my home, but it never felt like. Maybe with you there now…” he says as he beams a wide grin, his eyes full of light and love and I can’t look away.
We stand in the center of town, a massive fir decorated from top to bottom beside us. It’s snowing lightly in the early afternoon sunshine. The constant loop of holiday tunes gets drowned out by the sounds of laughter and joy from the tourists. It could be a scene from a holiday special.
“A year ago, I met your partners, Brady and Gabe. They spoke of working with you and Keegan and I knew you found exactly where you belonged. I wanted you to be happy, Oliver. I wanted you to have the happiest ever after that could ever happen. On that mountain, when you asked to give me exactly that, I knew I couldn’t,” my voice shakes as I recall that painful moment.
“Not because I didn’t want to. Not because I didn’t love you. I did and I still do. I knew then I always would. I just remember you pouring over blueprints and plans for builds. Long nights that ran into long weeks. I didn’t want to take it away from you. Not only that, I wanted it for myself. I wanted to throw myself into my career because I wanted to chase all those dreams, I told you about.”
Tears spill down my cheeks, icy against my heated skin. He listens patiently and I know without his words what he wants to say. Because it is exactly what realized when I heard his partners and friends talk about him. It’s what I had to learn the hard way as I lived my life without him.
Those dreams were always impossible without him at my side.
We both chased them without each other and yeah, we got a hold of a few of them. I design amazing complexes, work with brilliant people, and see the ideas in my head come to beautiful life. All the magic he brought to my dreams and the color he brought to my life was gone.
“Sunshine, I wanted to chase them together,” his voice is barely a whisper as he bends his head, touching his brow to mine.
“I know. Now that I broke our hearts, wasted five years of our lives, and ruined Christmas for both of us, I know. I thought marriage meant giving up choices and dreams and freedom. I didn’t make the right choices, chase the same dreams, or feel very free at all without you. They talked about how hard you worked, how you hustled, how everything you did was plotted, planned, almost to perfection.”
“Something wrong with me being brilliant, baby?” he teases, kissing me gently and stealing my breath.
“Brady told me you designed four builds for them. From the same blueprint. Mentioned he thought it was so clever. Only you and I know better. It was not clever—it was comfortable. Oliver Young never lived for comfort before—not on hisbrilliantbuilds.”
Oliver tips his head back to the snowy skies and laughs. Gathering me close, he holds me as he chuckles. It’s a booming, bouncing laugh and I laugh too because I can feel his joy. It is there in his brilliance of his smile, the boldness of his laughter, the brightness in his beautiful eyes.
“Christ, I missed you. No, baby, I never wanted my work to be considered comfortable. I want to build beautiful things. Meaningful places that matter to people. I was building to keep going. To work. To keep waking up and keep breathing when I had no reason to.”
“I took this job because I missed celebrating the holiday. I missed singing the songs, decorating a tree, wrapping presents, and looking forward to Christmas morning. I was surviving the past few years without you, but I was not living. I needed to come some place where I thought we could be reminded how good it feels to celebrate. To wish and hope and believe in miracles again.”
“What about my build? Tell me why you took that job?”
As he asks, he pulls back, framing my face in his big, rough hands. Hands he built homes and happiness with. Hands he held out to me as he offered the happily ever after I was not ready for. Tears track icy paths down my face because I am so ready now and I hope to someday earn that offer from these hands again.
“Because I want to work with you. I want to build beautiful things with you. Places that mean something to people. Either builds in Harmony Hollow or our own home. I turned down a hundred jobs because I could not face you and see you happy without me. I had to face you now. I had to show you I am alive but not living without you and I am not the kind of happy I always was with you.”
Standing there in the middle of the holiday village with flurries falling down, I hold my breath. I make a wish as a joyously jangling version of jingle bells fills the air. With his eyes holding mine, he lowers his head to touch his cold nose to my own.
“We don’t need plans or blueprints to get our dreams, sunshine. Last time I thought we had to follow some design to make this work. It took me losing you to realize plans only work on paper, on builds, on things that I need to control. I don’t need or want to control you. I want you to go with the wind, I want you to chase your dreams, choose what you want, go where you need. Just let us do all of that together, huh?”
