Page 7 of Wicked Wishes
“Yes, baby girl, your very favorite.” I grin, brushing her dark hair back from her face as she bounces in front of me. “I want you to meet someone. A new babysitter,” Another partial truth, but I am making this up as I go.
“New babysitter. How come?” she wonders, her bright blue eyes wide as she aims them up at me.
Hope looks more like me, but she is her mother’s daughter. Kind and patient but direct and intuitive. Her eyes are kind, thoughtful, and she when she asks a question, she really wants answers. Laughing comes easy for her and so does loving—no one is a stranger for long. And tonight, I can only hope that extends to her new babysitter.
“Because daddy works out of town sometimes, sometimes I work late, and sometimes, I want to go be a weird guy,” I answer her, kissing her nose as I scoop her up.
“Without me?” her pout is fake and used too often so we both laugh.
Shaking my head as I strap her in, I know I am in trouble tonight. Two ladies who could talk me into anything, I fear. I said it was not a date—and I won’t call it that—but I sure as shit cleaned up with my fancy soap, used cologne I haven’t used in years, and even put that shit in my beard I buy at the salon in Crystal Cove. Clearly, I want to impress someone.
“You smell yummy, daddy,” Hope closes her eyes and sniffs hard, making me laugh again.
“Yeah, yeah, well you smell like whip cream and unicorn poop,” I shoot back, honking her nose before I close the door.
As always, I turn on her favorite emo music, and laugh as she sings words she does not understand. I used to worry about her being so dark so young, but her lightness outshines any dark. Yeah, she likes scary movies and emo rock, but she also loves unicorns—the unicorn poop joke is because of a fluffy marshmallow snack she learned to make at preschool—and sings Disney songs at the top of her lungs. My monster has balance.
Balance I am hoping not to throw off by bringing Hanna into the picture.
Pulling up at the pizza place, I see a lone figure waiting out front. I park and take a moment to compose myself. I have never had a woman around Hope since her mom died. Besides my sister and Helen’s family. This is scary for me, but I have been terrified before—of losing my wife, of raising Hope alone, and of living life alone—and I survived that.
“Come on, monster, let’s go,” I puff out a breath and take her hand after I help her out of the truck.
“There you are,” Hanna grins as we meet halfway.
“Here I am,” I say back, smiling so big my face aches, “and there you are,” I lower my tone, because Christ, she is beautiful.
For a moment, I just watch her waiting for me, the neon of the old pizza joint making her skin glow. My wife was the only women I ever dated so even thoughthis is not a date, I am so scared I am shaking. I never wanted to date or find another woman again, but I want Hanna in my life. I can’t be sure how just yet, but tonight I want to try.
“You beautiful little thing, you,” she gushes as she takes her eyes of me and kneels in front of Hope.
“I am Hope! That’s my dad,” she tips her head at me with a little shrug, “who are you? My new babysitter? Never had one before. Oh, your dress sparkles so pretty!” she rambles, dropping my hand to reach out to mess with Hanna’s long dark hair as she brushes a pudgy hand over her glittering black dress.
“Thank you, I love yours too!” she shoots back with a wink, cocking her head to take in the skeleton stockings and chunky Mary-Janes Hope has on. I let her dress herself and she went Wednesday Adams.
“Look at my legs,” Hope shrieks, kicking them out and wiggling her foot, “do you like these?”
“I do, Hope. Last year for Halloween, I was a glow in the dark skeleton to give out candy. But those are pretty sick tights, lady.”
Stepping back, I let them have a moment. Because I need one. Most people look at the widow dad with the gothic little girl and whisper behind their hands. Kids don’t always get Hope and she is a tough little tyke, but it bothers her. She doesn’t understand what they don’t get. But Hanna gets it. And just like that I know I am in more trouble than I thought with this captivating creature.
“Mushrooms! Daddy, she likesmushrooms on her pizza, too!”
“I do. And I think two against one win, so it will be mushroom and pepperoni pizza tonight,” Hanna declares, standing up to head inside.
“For you two, I will eat mushrooms,” I say with a grin.
“Yes! And games after!” Hope shouts as I hold the door open for them, and she rushes in excitedly.
“Smells so good,” Hanna says as she saunters past me, her hips swaying and ass round and plump in her dress, “the pizza too.” Glancing back at me, she gives me a shake of her ass.
“Behave, woman,” I bark but I don’t mean it and shelaughs, “Get your ass inside. Let me feed you,” I gruff the words and shegivesme that sweet smile because I am shit at flirting but here I am doing it.
Inside, the girls are at the counter already ordering when I catch up to them. I reach out to put my hand on Hanna’s back and I see my wedding band flash in the dim lighting. I wait for the guilt and the regret to hit me. Like it always does when I start thinking too long and too hard about Hanna. But when I feel the warmth of her body beneath my hand and see her talking with Hope as if they are old buddies, I feel nothing like that.
“You look nice tonight,” I dip my head to murmur this against Hanna’s ear and I grin when I feel her body shake a little.
“You do too, sugar,” she says back softly, glancing up at me after giving our order to the young man behind the counter, “your little girl…Jesus Harley, she isso beautiful,” her voice is sincere and soft as she brushes a gentle hand through Hope’s dark hair.
