Page 20 of Claimed By A Cowboy
I just don’t know how to stay in one place.
“I will take one night if it is all you will give me,” Wylder’s raw voice from last night comes back to me as I glance out the window.
We made love in that loft for most of the night. He never truly asked me to stay, so I never had to tell him I couldn’t. Wylder damn sure never offered to go with me. And I shouldn’t expect him to.
This ranch is his home. It is where he belongs. These men and those horses, they need him. He is so damn good at what he does. And after learning about his past, I know how badly he needs this place.
“I don’t belong here,” I whisper to myself as I tear my gaze from outside. “I don’t belong anywhere.”
Before I can fight them back, one of the things I am good at, tears start steaming down my cheeks. I bury my face in my hands because this is going to be an ugly cry.
Wylder is the first person to understand my loneliness. To chase it away for a few moments. For an entire day. And an entire night. I could not stand myself if that all went away in a few months. If I stayed for him, how awful would it be for me to leave him if that feeling came back again.
I do not have a place I call home because I don’t even know what that is. I never stayed anywhere long enough to figure it out. I was in twenty different homes by the time I was sixteen. I lied to Wylder when I said I aged out—I just ran away from my last foster home.
There was no abuse or great tragedy. In fact, they were the ones who had treated me the best. It made me uncomfortable. I felt as if I owed them something for a safe place to sleep, new clothes for school, and three hot meals a day.
Owing someone is a bad thing where I came from.
Thinking back on that last couple who fostered me, I realize I have missed them for a long time. They were a little bit older than most of the couples I had been placed with before. What I remember most is how much they loved one another.
That was another thing that made me uncomfortable, I admit to myself. They were so happy together. What did they need me for? Why would they want a twisted-up girl like me in their home?
“Shit this might be the worst trip of my life. Got me thinking about things I don’t want to think about,” I taunt myself, chuckling darkly.
Pushing to my feet, I line up a ride to town so I can get the hell out of dodge. Once I get a driver confirmed, I head for the main house. I want a moment with Cody before I go, so he knows about the piece I wrote. I even filmed some videos of me out on the horses and feeding the goats yesterday.
Pain flares in my chest as I play those videos back now. Wylder is there, laughing as I fuss with the cutest baby goat. It took a liking to me and I sat right there in the dirt, letting it climb in my lap. I stop walking when I really look at Wylder in that video.
He never takes his eyes off me. His entire face is lit with his smile, his dark eyes sparkling in the sunshine. He looks so proud as he watches me. At one point he even takes the camera, taking a few shots of me with the adorable little kid.
“Looks as if he found his new favorite person,” his voice is just a whisper on the video, and I realize he was whispering.
Because he was not talking about that baby goat. He was talking about himself. And God, do I want to let it be that easy. I want to just stay here and play with goats and ride horses all day with that man. But I know I can’t. Because next week or next month, I will want something different.
Nothing can hold me in one place because I won’t grab hold of anything.
Stumbling away from the house, I decide an email to Cody will be good enough. I rush back to the bunkhouse, snatching my bag up. I left the tattered jeans, plaid pearl button top, and the cute boots hanging in the closet.
I do not need another reminder of this perfect place.
I rush out, barely able to breathe as I climb into the car I called. I manage to tell them I need to get to town before I break down. I will tip him well for putting up with the sobbing mess running from the Iron H Ranch.
Never once do I look back, afraid I won’t see anyone there—or maybe afraidI willsee someone there, asking me not to run away this time.
Chapter Ten
Wylder
This place is my home—but the truth is, it is just a place.
It is just some barns and bunkhouses with some horses. I care about the horses, I care about the guys here, and I care a hell of a lot about what we do here. I never imagined I would want to leave.
Now I have a new place to call home—Wynn is my home.
Wherever she is, that is where I belong. If I can convince her to stay here with me, it will still be this place. If it takes me joining her on her globe-trotting adventures, then it will be there, at her side. It doesn’t matter, as long as I can be with her.
Last night was the best night of my life. Lying in that haystack, her curvy body pressed against mine, with the rain falling, it could not have been better. It felt as if I had never touched another woman before her, never been touched by anyone else but her.
