Page 18 of Shake Your Love
Throwing her door open, Paige jumps down from the van—not waiting for me to lift her out like my little princess—and storms up the walk toward our apartment. I chase after her, cursing my stupid mouth the entire way.
“I did not mean that. I should keep my mouth shut.”
“No, no you shouldn’t. Tell me what you think of me. Let me know how you feel, Pierce.”
By the tone of her words, by the rage in her beautiful eyes, I know she does not mean that the way it sounds. She means I have shown a bad side of myself. A side she does not like very much. One I don’t like very much either—one I hoped I never had in me.
Growing up watching my — accuse my mother of betraying him, accusing us, his own children, of taking something that was his, that belonged to him. Meanwhile, he repeatedly betrayed our mother and never gave us a damn thing except broken promises. I hoped to never be anything like him…yet here I am.
“Paige, please, I am so sorry,” I start softly, voice shaking.
“How could you make such a fool of me? Do you know how stupid that made me look? How meek, how weak. All the things I struggle the most with. How could you do that?”
“I got jealous. Seeing you with that guy…with any other guy...it just shows me what I believed from the start. That I am not good enough.”
“Not good enough? Good enough for who? For me? Orfor what you want people to see when they look at you? Or us together? Why do you think I want to be with you? What do you think I am doing here?”
“I…I guess I don’t know. I am broke, uneducated, with nothing to offer you. I can’t give you what a handsome teacher could. What a rich prick from where you come from could. I hoped I could give you enough that it wouldn’t matter. I guess tonight I….”
“You thought I would look for what I want with someone else. You believed after I offered you me, all of me,” she shouts the words as we face each other down. “Parts I never thought I’d give to anyone! I would just change my mind because some other man smiled at me?”
Hearing it out loud, in her sad, defeated voice, infuriates me. How could I think that of her? How could I behave so stupidly, react so foolishly? Am I more like my — than I realized?
I might have been right—I might not deserve Paige at all.
“No. No, I didn’t…I guess I feared you could. I am not good enough for you, Paige. We both know it. Anyone who sees us together knows it.”
Paige stares up at me before she backs up, until her back hits her door. Shaking her head, she turns, letting out a quiet, broken sob. “I thought you were good enough. I thought I looked good enough to be with you—that is all that should matter, Pierce.”
With another sob, she goes inside and closes the door in my face.
Chapter Ten
Paige
Music is the balm to a battered heart.
Lying in my bedroom, I crank Tiffany as I shove another donut hole in my mouth. They’re stale from the batch Pierce brought me last week. We were happier. Hell, we weretogether. How did we end up here?
We have not spoken in two days. I hear him come and go. He stops at my door and tells me how much he misses me. How sorry he is for being such a total jerk at the skating rink. This whole thing could be an episode of Degrassi High for all the damn drama.
“Frenchie do we miss him enough yet?”
Purring on my stomach, she pops open her mouth for another bite of the sweets she loves. I laugh as she chomps on the last piece of donut. Yeah, I guess if I want her to be well fed—and if I want to eat too—I ought to get my pouting, dramatic ass over this.
I mean is it the 80s or not? Can’t I go after the guy?
“Heck yes, I can. That is my guy! Even if he is impossible or being a douche, he is my guy.”
Dusting off donut power and glaze, I storm down the hallway. Taking a hot shower, I wash off my misery, and the past two days of tears and anger. Once I finish the cleansing shower, I spend time doing myself up.
Choosing my best dress—a white lace number much like the outfit I wore on our first date—I slip on the new lacey thigh highs and matching lingerie set I had gotten at the mall. Blair and Bobbi took me on a trip to Frederick after lunch yesterday. They knew I was working up the courage to mend things with Pierce—but I have more than mending in mind.
I intend to seduce Pierce—because I want that man and I want him now.
I cannot stand being apart any longer. He was a jerk that night, yes. Knowing all I do about his father, about how awful a man he was to Pierce and his mother and sister, I understand why. My father was the total opposite—he was there, too involved, too controlling of my life. He did it out of love. I have realized how lucky I was to have him.
Pierce had no one to look to. No one to trust or believe in. No one to learn from, to show him how to be a good partner or a good man. And yet he is the best man I’ve ever known. Even when he is a bit of a douche.
