Page 93 of Rulebreaker
“And that didn’t happen?”
“No,” I say. “Turns out that she was using me.” My smile is forced. “And she wasn’t the first or last–there were girlfriends, so-called friends, college acquaintances, even my fuckingdoctorswho wanted things from me. The more successful I got, the more people tried to use me. And after the fourth time someone tried to steal from me, I started to do a full background check on everyone around me. I needed to make sure there were no debts I’d be expected to pay off, no lawsuitsthey’d need my help navigating, no business ventures I would be the perfect investor for.”
“Honey,” she whispers.
“It’s the nature of the business,” I say on a shrug. “But that doesn’t excuse the way I reacted to you.”
“Except”—her hand squeezes mine again—“I gave you a hard time about doing background checks.”
“You pointed out, rightly, that it’s kind of fucked up.”
“Well, considering all that happened in your past,” she says, “I understand the why of it a bit more.”
I wince. “That doesn’t mean it’s right.”
“Maybe not,” she says. “But if I’m being honest, I was kind of hoping that you’d run the check on me, that you knew about Stan and didn’t actually care. I knew I needed to level with you and explain, but…” She rubs her forehead with her free hand. “It was such a mess and so damned complicated and I knew how it would look, so I kept putting off telling you. That’s on me. I should have leveled with you when it became clear how deep both of our feelings were becoming.”
“None of this is your fault.”
A laugh. “I’m the naive idiot who married someone forty years older than her.”
My fingers spasm. “Did he force?—”
A shake of her head. “No.” She sighs. “But looking back, I see I was easily manipulated into tying my music’s rights to the prenup. I didn’t think it would be an issue—Stan and I cared for each other and he was gentle and kind and cared about my career in a way no one else ever had before, but it wasn’t true love, and we both realized it wasn’t the right move for us within a couple of years.”
“But you stayed married?”
“My career took off and the optics of our marriage didn’t fit with the persona we’d created, so wedecided to legally separate, planned to quietly divorce when things quieted down. I’d get my rights back, he’d get a portion of royalties on the songs he helped with.” A faraway look in her eyes. “Then he got sick.”
Fuck.
“What happened?”
“Dementia—it came on hard and fast, and he couldn’t sign legal paperwork for a divorce, and his estate couldn’t afford his care. So, I decided to make sure he was covered and just…ride out the prenup. It barely had any time left on it and…” Her eyes come to mine. “Then I met you.”
I suck in a breath.
“And as much as I tried to stay away, I couldn’t.”
“Lily.”
“I fell in love with you and I…I just couldn’t let you go, even though I knew I should.”
“I didn’t exactly make it easy.”
She touches my jaw, and the contact is so right it’s almost painful. “And the more I got to know you, the harder I fell, and I knew that it was more than one night. It wasdestiny.”
“Texas,” I rasp.
“So, I’m sorry too. Sorry I didn’t talk to you until it was too late, sorry it all came out like it did, sorry?—”
I can’t take it anymore.
I weave my hands into the strands of her hair and I kiss her with everything I’m feeling–and it’s a fucking lot.
Only when my lungs protest do I pull back, smoothing my thumb over her cheek. “No more apologies,” I whisper.
“From either of us.” She holds my eyes and I hate the sadness still clinging to her.
