Page 38 of Pining for Lord Lockhart
And then the image of Penny entered his mind. A shattering tear ripped through the center of him. Her eyes, her plea, the desperation in her life. And he buckled over in pain.
“What? What is it?” Charity’s arms were around him, helping lower him to his chair. “Bring some tea.” Her shout and the sounds of the staff rushing about seemed as though miles from him. Her voice in his ear, her kisses on his head while he hid from her, his face in his hands. The torture of his situation stealing even his well-being. With shaking hands, he clutched at her. He could only guess what horrors were written on his face. She gasped upon seeing him.
His voice, sounding raspy, left his lips unsolicited, spoke the words that honor dictated. “I have never been more true than I have right now. Remember. No matter what happens, this is how I feel. This is what I want. I’m not free to do this right now.” Then he stood. “I fear I shall die every day for the rest of my life.”
Then he left the kitchen.
Surely she called after him. Or maybe she did not. He didn’t know the effect his words had, he had not met her eyes when he cowardly ran, and now he may never know.
He hurried through their home, trying to leave as soon as possible, hoping to avoid contact with the duke, running from his happiness, from his sanity, running from the greatest desire of his heart and running from his shame. To create in Charity such a passion, such a love. Her kiss astounded him. She was full of fire, full of all the energy she usually exerted toward anything, and that strength had been focused on him for one blessed moment. He’d likely never be the same.
But to experience that passion and then dash it to pieces in her face, was the most cad-like thing he’d ever done. And he’d never be able to look her in the face again.
“Wilfred!” He would have laughed at her use of his seldom-used name if the situation wasn’t what it was.
“Stop right there!” Her command did not allow disobeying.
His feet jerked him to a stop. But he reached a hand out to the wall to steady himself.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Her voice was loud. Too loud. Soon all in the house would be apprised.
He lowered his head.
She came around to stand in front of him so he was forced to look into a flushed and beautiful face, one full of hurt and anger and questions. So many questions he could not answer.
“You’re leaving?”
“I am.”
“Forever?”
“I…” His breath shuddered in him. “I think so.” He squeezed his eyes but it didn’t block out the pain or the sight of her face. He would never forget her face. “I don’t know. I have to figure some things out.”
“Just like that? You will kiss me like you love me.Love me.” She pointed at his chest. “And then walk away?” Her wide eyes grew wider by the second and her voice louder.
When he didn’t answer, she waved her hand in the air. “What kind of man are you? Who treats a woman that way? And you’ve been courting me? Except you weren’t officially. No wonder you haven’t spoken to the duke. You’ve been playing with me?” Her hurt turned to anger, and her cheeks flushed further. She stepped closer. “Say something.”
And then His Grace made his way down the stairs, tying a robe around his waist. “What is the meaning of this?”
Charity dipped her head to see past Andrew up the stairs. “Wilfred kissed me. And then he told me he is not free. And now he’s leaving.” The desperation in her voice tore at him. He shook his head. But before he could deny her words, he knew that they were true. Was his intent different than the bald face words sounded? Certainly. But nothing could be said to counter her words.
“Lord Lockhart?” His Grace joined them at the base of the stairs.
“She speaks the truth.”
Charity seemed to wilt in front of him.
“I think it’s time we moved this meeting into my study.”
Charity put her hands on His Grace’s arm and leaned into him while they walked.
He followed His Grace.
The tender regardbetween them was somewhat surprising to Andrew. But he was pleased she had someone in her life to care for her. He winced. When Lord Morley or the Duke of Granbury found out about this, he might be facing pistols truly.
A new wild exhilaration filled him. Had his actions required that he now marry Charity? Run from Penny and her mother and do his duty here?
The duke entered, leading Charity at his side around to the other side of the desk, sat her next to him, and then turned to Andrew. “Close the door.”
