Page 73 of A Tenuous Betrothal
“These factions would hope France will control all of Europe? And this is what concerns you?”
“In a broad sense, yes. But there is an end in sight. The Congress will have a decision within the next year. The group that hopes to free Napoleon though... I don’t know when we will ever be free from their plotting.”
Rhi considered Marc. He put the map away, but they remained close. It felt nice but not quite comfortable, as her heart always raced when he was near—but nice. She felt a sense of belonging with him. Nearly four weeks on a ship together had created a closeness in them while at the same time they’d set certain boundaries. But she wished she could help him somehow. “I’m sorry for this burden you carry.”
“I have taken it upon myself. My family wishes I would let it go, but I cannot. We’ve spoken of duty. And you were right. I could no sooner leave the fate of my country in the hands of others until I am assured of its safety than you could Cresselly.”
“But I learned to do so. I’m here now. And Wales is in good hands.” She paused, hoping her words would form some kind of change in Marc, free him to take less upon himself. But he didn’t answer.
Instead, they allowed the wind to whip around them for a moment before he said something he’d told her at the beginning of their journey. “Father will love you. Mother too.” He grinned.
“What brought this on?”
“Just you, standing here with your hair everywhere.”
She didn’t even attempt to tame her tresses. “Are your parents both uncivilized, then?” She laughed.
“Not at all. They understand and appreciate the importance of presentation when necessary, but they also understand when to let it go.” He reached for her hand, something they’d both become accustomed to.
But today he brought her knuckles up to his lips. “And you are beautiful here on the open water.” He held her gaze and pressed his lips to her knuckles another time. “I will miss this time.”
And there was the deflating comment. She’d known it was coming. He only ever let her get so close before reminding her again that he did not want her. “I suppose we mustn’t hold hands when we arrive?” His large, rough hands cradling her ungloved ones was a luxury she would miss.
He shook his head. “Not if we wish to prove to everyone how badly we don’t want an arranged marriage.” He laughed.
“I suppose that makes sense.” She took her hand back. A cascading waterfall of feeling and gooseflesh had rushed through her, and she needed to get hold of her control.
“But we aren’t there yet.” He grinned and lifted her hand back, linking their fingers.
“Marc.”
“Rhi.”
She laughed again, then sobered. “I don’t know why we cannot just be together. I don’t care how long it takes for you to feel Oldenburg is safe again. I’ll wait. I enjoy your attention. I enjoy our conversations. Why must we resist and pretend to be other than what we are?”
“Because my father would have us marry sooner rather than later. If we arrive in love”—his eyes widened—“pardon me, I meant to sayappearingas though in love...” He ran his free hand through his hair. “I did not desire for us to be so easy with one another. This voyage has been as deliciously sweet as it has been a torture.” He closed his eyes. “For that, I feel I have been unfair to you, but I cannot help that we get on so well. My plan sounds noble when spoken—the idea, of course, was that I won’t be submitting you to torment and misery at the hands of my terrible tasks ahead.”
She forced herself to breathe. He’d said the wordlove. She tried to keep her voice as even as possible. “And I’ve told you time and again that I don’t mind a closeness to you while you live a more dangerous life. I prefer to be close and aware than distant, married to someone else, and guessing at how you are faring.”
“You won’t be guessing or worrying though. I know if we move forward with our own lives in Oldenburg, you will become busy and completely overtaken by the Oldenburg court, which is lovely and full of admirable women to befriend you, not to mention my sisters-in-law and Sophie. You will not have time to concern yourself with me, especially if we are not courting.”
“And the men?”
He pressed his lips together. “They will be present at court as well.”
She tipped her head back and laughed. “I’m sorry. But am I to ignore them, then?”
He looked away. “I cannot dictate your actions.”
“Hmm, but you would like to, where the men are concerned.”
When he turned back to her, his gaze was full of pain. “I would. It will be a bitter torture when you do fall in love and Father declares his approval of your marriage. But I have no right to ask you not to move forward with your life, and Father would not wish it.”
“Yes, I’m intrigued by such a singularly focused individual.”
“He is singularly focused about a great many things.” Marc shook his head. “It’s what makes him a wonderful monarch.”
Rhi stood quietly, wishing she could more fully enjoy her hand in his, further appreciate the sun shimmering on the water. “You’ve put me in a very difficult position.”
