Page 51 of A Duke Reformed
"Ducky, it's not that serious," Solomon scoffed. "I know plenty of people who don't want heirs or children. Who have chosen different paths for their lives. It's what I've decided for my future. I don't need to repeat any cycle. It can all just end with me."
"What can just end with you?" she questioned, stepping forward. "Why would you say that? Why would you not want any children?"
Solomon rose to his feet too. "I'm sensing you're upset, Miss Lockhart but I cannot understand why."
Emma swallowed, willing the heat that had overcome her body to cool. Her chest tightened, and frustration surged through her. "Because you just said something utterly ridiculous, Solomon!" she blurted, her voice rising with the heat of her emotions. "You're shutting yourself off from any possibility of happiness. You can't just assume that every child would be like the one you were. Not every marriage has to be a burden or a trap. You don't have to condemn yourself to a life of loneliness and regret because of some arbitrary decision. It makes no sense. The best way to add joy and light to your life right now is to find someoneand build a life with them. Teach your children how to become the man you are now. It cannot all go to waste!"
She stepped forward, her anger fueling. "It's cowardice! You're afraid of what could happen, but you don't even know what it's like. You've already decided that children, that marriage, aren't worth the risk. You don't know what you're missing. You can't just throw away something you've never even given a chance."
Solomon stood still as she caught her breath, his jaw clenched, and his gaze intense but he remained silent. The silence between them grew heavy, and Emma's words lingered in the air like a storm. It was as if everything she had been holding inside came rushing out in one single, unforgiving moment and as she settled, she began to realize that she had said too much... suddenly aware that she had pushed him too far.
"I... I am deeply sorry, Your Grace," she stammered, her voice shaking. "I must go. I will make up for today's lesson another time."
Before Solomon could respond, she turned and fled the room, her footsteps echoing down the hall as she ran.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"Well, was he upset?"
"I don't know, Lavinia. But I think so."
"Did he say anything to you?"
"I didn't wait. I just... ran away."
Emma paced the length of Lavinia's bedroom, her fingers wringing the edge of her shawl, and her brow creased in a knot that had not relaxed for days now. Her steps were slow, and she felt tired, despite how restlessly her thoughts were spinning in her head. Her heart felt heavy, burdened by words she could not take back and a silence she had not expected.
Lavinia watched her from the edge of the bed, arms folded loosely across her lap. She had only just arrived in London for family business opportunity to take her gloves off before Emma began to unravel.
"He might not be upset," she said to Emma.
"I think he is," she answered.
"How could you possibly know? You said he didn't say anything."
"Because he called me Miss Lockhart," she answered, picking at her fingers.
"I don't understand what you mean." Lavinia shook her head. "He called you Miss Lockhart? That's it?"
Emma threw her head back and groaned. "When he's happy... or in a good mood, he calls me Ducky–"
"Ducky?" Lavinia let out a sharp laugh. "I'm sorry... you said, Ducky?"
"Don't laugh, I think it's kind... adorable," Emma said, taking only a moment to take in the fact that she had now grown fond of the absurd nickname.
"My apologies. Carry on."
"When he's being formal, he calls me Miss Lockhart," she continued. "He only calls me Emma when he's entirely serious."
"So, what did he call you when you had the argument?"
Emma bit her lower lip. "All of them?" she groaned again and massaged her forehead. "I shouldn't have said what I said," Emma muttered, more to herself than to Lavinia. "He didn't even argue with me, Lavinia. He just...looked at me." She exhaled sharply, frustrated with herself. "He said nothing. I just... I'm starting to see a pattern here and I don't like it. We always argue about something."
Slowly, Lavinia rose to her feet and walked over to the window. "All right. Forgive me if I don't say what you want to hear Emma, but I have only had a few moments to process everything you just told me... and it is a lot. But from what I have been able to gather, I think you are in love with the duke, my dear friend."
Emma stopped abruptly in her tracks, turned to Lavinia and laughed, clenching her stomach. "Oh, that is utterly ridiculous."
"Is it?" she questioned. "Emma, you are pacing because you are troubled that he might be offended with you."
