Page 46 of Shine: Sins of the Father
Shit. He must have found it in the bathroom wastebasket. I should have thought of that before I led him in there.
“Do I even want to know? Maybe I don’t. Because if you tell me, then I have to tell my sponsor.”
The thought of that has me terrified, and I burst into tears again. God, what is wrong with me?
In three steps he’s to me and pulling me in for a hug. “Aw, babe. Come here.”
It seems like I cry at everything now. “I’m in trouble, Cody.”
“No, you’re not. Don’t say that. Everything will work out.”
“You don’t know that. I’m trying to open a business, and I’m so grateful and so thrilled that my dream is finally coming true. But it’s going to take long hours. It’s going to take so much hard work, which I’m not afraid of, but now I’m exhausted all the time, and feel like I want to throw up at random times, and I cry at the drop of a hat. On top of all that, now I’m going to have a baby. How am I ever going to do all this on my own?”
“Why do you have to do it on your own?”
I don’t answer. How do I ever explain it? There’s so much I can’t tell him.
“Look, I know it’s none of my business, and you don’t have to tell me who the father is, but have you told him yet?”
“No, and I won’t.”
“Why not?” Cody cocks his head, like he’s trying to put together who it might be. “You need to tell him, Fiona. Whoever he is, he needs to know.”
“No,” I whisper. “You don’t understand. He’s not in the picture, and he won’t everbein the picture. It was just a… a one-night stand kind of thing. I doubt I’ll ever see him again.”
He sighs. “Well, that sucks for the kid. Have you told your mother or Janey or anyone yet?”
“Just Janey. She brought me the test. I haven’t really even had time for it to sink in.” But now Cody knows. My eyes widen, and I plead with him. “You can’t tell anyone, Cody. Promise me. Please.”
He runs a hand down the back of his neck and turns, pacing. “You’re really putting me in a spot, here, Fee. I’m not supposed to keep anything from my sponsor. He finds out, I might lose any chance I have at a patch. All the shit I’ve been through this last year will have been for nothing.”
“How will he ever find out you saw that?” I gesture to the box he set on the bar. “He won’t unless you tell him. Please. I’m not ready for the entire club to know.” I spin, panic starting to set in. “And my father… oh my God. When he finds out…”
“So, you didn’t know this guy?”
I think of Shine. “I can honestly say I’d never met him before that night. Please don’t judge me. It was a moment of insanity. I don’t usually do things like that, I swear.”
Cody spreads his hands. “I’m not here to judge you or anyone. Look, half the guys in the club are real dawgs. Skeeter’s got a different woman every damn week.”
“But no one would think that’s acceptable behavior for me, would they?”
He shoves his hands in his hip pockets. “I suppose not. But Fiona, unless you’re planning to get rid of this pregnancy, they’re gonna find out, eventually. You’re not, are you?”
“No. I mean… look, I haven’t made any decisions yet, okay? I just… I need time.”
He nods. “Yeah. Sure. Okay, fine, I promise I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
“How about I stop back in a few days and see what I can do about that frame we talked about? I can’t make any promises about when I’ll get the time. With the club, I’m kind of at their beck and call.”
“I understand. I’d appreciate your help. Whenever is fine. Just let me know. And thanks for everything, Cody.”
“It’s tough growin’ up in this club, isn’t it? I guess that’s especially true for a girl, huh?”
“Yeah. But look at all the family we have.”
“Right.” He grins. “Always up in your business, whether you want ‘em there or not.”
