Page 53 of Coup De Grâce
“Are you sure?”
How did I explain that my life had been torn apart and I no longer knew where I fit in? This woman had literally just been attacked in her home, and she had nothing to do with this life. At least I understood that something like Rafe being killed was very much a possibility.
“I’m just glad everyone’s okay.”
She knew I was lying, but thankfully, she didn’t push.
“So, we’re headed to Kansas, huh?” Thomas asked. “Well, I suppose I’d better find someone to care for the animals while we’re gone.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Johnny said. “It’s the least I can do.”
As he smiled at his brother, I turned and headed for the panic room door. I had to get out of here and get some air. I rushed down the hall and up the stairs to the trap door, sucking in large gulps of air as I paced the barn.
I would not break down. I would not fall to pieces right now.
But as I stood in the middle of the dirty floor with hay sprawled in small pieces, all I could think about was all I had lost.
And all I would never experience with Rafe gone.
18
CASH
“I’m just saying,maybe you shouldn’t have crashed our only working vehicle,” Thumper grumbled as we marched across Armenia in search of a new vehicle.
Thumper’s dress was draped across his chest in what he hoped would cover his deflated boob. He was failing miserably. The disguise was no longer working, but at least it was keeping the sun off his skin.
“I can’t believe you blew past the border,” FNG laughed. “Man, that was classic Cash.”
I gritted my teeth, trying to ignore his comment.
“I mean, only Cash would do something that crazy.”
“Fox would do something that crazy,” I retorted.
“Right, well, Fox isn’t here, so I can’t say it was him,” FNG continued. “And did you see that vehicle go up in flames? I bet you thought I was dead, huh?”
He elbowed me in the ribs, jesting the whole time, but I was not in the mood for this shit. Even though it was great to see them again, I was supposed to be flying solo on this, and the implications of them getting involved meant everyone was in danger.
“But you know, it would never happen. I can’t?—”
“Die,” I finished for him. “Yes, we all know.”
“You know, but you didn’t really expect me to walk away from that,” he rattled on. “I continue to defy expectations.”
“If you continue to defy expectations, then you would have died in that explosion,” Thumper snapped.
“No, see, the expectation is that I would die. Therefore, I defied it by living,” FNG explained.
“Except, you’ve been telling us since you came to work at OPS that you can’t die. Why would we expect you to die at this point?” Thumper argued. “Now, if we see an explosion you were supposed to be in, we just shrug and walk away.”
The look of shock on FNG’s face was comical. For a man who wanted everyone to believe he wasn’t able to die, he sure as hell seemed surprised when we all bought it.
“But…” FNG’s face twisted into one of dejection. “You don’t even think for a minute that I might have died? There’s no moment of sadness? What if I really died?”
“But you’ve told us repeatedly you can’t die. Hell, you’ve come back from the grave so many fucking times, it would be stupid of us to actually believe you’ve died,” I snapped.
“I can’t believe it. After all this time. I never actually thought you’d believe me, and now that you do, I find myself a little hurt that there’s not a mourning period or something before I rally.”
