Page 48 of Finding Romance
A watery laugh escapes my lips. “You’re sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong, Kasen. If anything, you’ve shown me more compassion in these last weeks than anyone has in a long time. You saw me for who I am and never questioned me, not once. And I’ll always be grateful to you for that.” I place a hand over his and lean into the feel of his rough palm on my cheek. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He lets out a long breath. “You saw me. And I don’t think I’ve been seen in a long time. So I should be thanking you.”
I roll my eyes. “You are a stubborn man. You know, if you just put yourself out there once in a while, you’d be seen by a whole lot more people. Don’t let your parents’ death, and whatever else happened to you, cause you to lock yourself away. You deserve love, Kasen. You are worthy of love.”
He leans his head down so our foreheads touch and our breaths mingle. We both close our eyes. I can feel our hearts beating as one. I’ve never felt so connected to another human. In this single moment, I feel as if we are one being. How can I feel so entwined with him after only a few weeks? I should run away. I should leave. My fight-or-flight instincts battle with my desire to stay right here in this moment.
“OK,” he whispers as he presses a kiss to my forehead and steps back.
“OK?” I furrow my brows in confusion. “OK, what?”
“I’ll be your first. But only because I want you to have it done right. I don’t want some guy going through the motions because you paid him or some guy doing it because he’s horny after a first date. You deserve more than that, better than that, Piper. I’ll do it. But we’re doing this my way. If you want me to be your first, then you do as I say. If anything is uncomfortable or you change your mind, you tell me, but we do this my way,” he grunts, his voice dangerously low as if it’s projecting his determination.
“Your way?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
He nods. “What were your earliest fantasies about how you’d lose it?” he asks.
I blush. “I’m not telling you that,” I squeak. He has to be kidding. That shit is personal.
“If you want to do it, then you have to be willing to talk about it. Or no deal,” he states as he crosses his arms, making his biceps bulge. Crap, why does this man have to be so attractive without even trying?
I roll my eyes again. “Fine. I wanted to be in love and have, like, a room full of rose petals, dimmed lighting, maybe, like, candles or something, and…” Now my face is full-on red like I-spent-all-day-at-the-beach-with-no-sunscreen red.
“And?” He looks at me, not showing even the tiniest bit of embarrassment.
“And, he takes his time until I’m…you know…ready…and then he’s…gentle,” I whisper, closing my eyes because I’m mortified that I just shared that aloud.
“OK, that’s good. Thank you for telling me,” he says as I pry my eyes back open. He doesn’t look turned off at all, if anything, he looks like he wants to devour me right now.
I step back as if I’m Little Red Riding Hood and he’s the Big Bad Wolf. “Y-you’re welcome,” I manage. I clear my throat and look back at the pot I was painting. I admit to myself that it’s not half bad as I stare at it. “I should finish up here,” I say as I nod toward my artwork.
He steps aside, and as I walk past him, his hand comes up and grabs my upper arm, tugging me back against him, my back to his front. He envelops me in a hug and I place my hands over his arms that are crossed over my chest. His chin presses on the crown of my head.
“For what it’s worth, illustrator, and as bad as this sounds, I’m so very glad Cornelia broke her ankle because if that hadn’t happened, I’m not sure we would have met. And meeting you…well, you’re helping me see some things that I’ve needed to see for quite a while now,” he says, the hot air of his breath blowing along the shell of my ear as he speaks.
“Then, I’m glad too, not that she broke her ankle, but that I could help you.” I turn in his arms and look up at him, running my fingers over the scar above his eye. “You deserve to be loved too, Kasen. I know you don’t believe that, but you do. You’re a good person. I see how you help your friends, and how you care about the people in this building. No matter what you’ve done in life, you aren’t a bad person. I hope you’ll believe that someday,” I say as I turn and run my fingers through his thick coarse hair. His eyelids shut slowly as he lets me touch him. There’s something special about this man letting me in, letting me be close to him that feels like I’ve tamed a wild animal. It’s truly like he’s a lone wolf and I just got accepted into a pack that is comprised of only the two of us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kasen
I don’t know what it was about spending an hour discussing my darkest, worst moments with a stranger and then telling one of them to Piper, but I wake up feeling renewed. And then I remember that I have to plan the perfect third date and…shit, I need help with this one.
A smile comes to my lips as I recall that it’s men’s book-club night. Yes, this one will take a village. I’d never normally go to the guys for dating advice, but I absolutely cannot fuck this up.
So, I grab a protein shake, hit the gym, and then spend my day attempting to focus on a project for a client’s new server. When I finish, I shovel down some cold pizza and head to the bookstore.
Hutch and Bray are sitting in the corner, sipping beers and debating whether girls prefer licking or sucking nipples.
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask as I sit down on a chair opposite them.
“Oh, in the book we read, you read it, right?” Hutch asks.
I nod but don’t elaborate or tell them I read ten others. I feel like my reputation would be ruined if they found out. Or would it? I had no idea the guys were this into romance novels.
“Well, you know that one scene in the kitchen?” Bray asks.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I state as I try to remember it.
