Page 11 of Persuading Penny
My rose-colored glasses shattered in that very moment
. No discussion was to be had. No manner of describing him could alter their view of the relationship. A Copperfield would never be permitted to marry a common American.
“You’re being selfish,” Aunt Sally had said.
I was shocked by her comment. Though, she wasn’t truly an aunt by blood, simply a family friend who’d become an aunt of sorts, I’d always looked up to her. Several years older than I was, I’d always respected her opinions. I’d very often followed her advice. She’d always appeared so wise to the ways of the world and I, so naive.
“How am I being selfish, Aunt Sally?”I’d cried. “I love him. This is my life, my future. You would have me turning my back on the man I love?”
“Love is a wonderful thing, my young Penny. But there are so many other factors that you need to consider. You know, the French have an expression;vivre d’amour et d’eau fraìche.”
My French being quite good, I nodded. “Live off of love and fresh water.”
“Do you really think you could survive off of just fresh water and love? No food? No house? No clothes? No nothing?”
“Well, if you’re going to put it that way...no. Of course not. But what makes you think we’d be living so poorly?”
“For one thing, you are both still in college. Secondly, what does he want to do with his life? For all your talk of him, you’ve never mentioned his ambition, his career choice.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think he quite knows yet. He loves photography. He’s also mentioned a love of documentaries. I believe his classes revolve around those interests.”
“Promising future,” she said sarcastically. “No, Penny. I’m certain your father would prefer to see you marry a man with a brighter, more promising future...a man with a good and steady job that pays well.”
I was miserable as I pondered her words. Was it truly selfish of me to marry Cliff rather than a more promising man? To what degree did I owe this to my parents? At what point did my own wishes for a happy life take precedence?
Aunt Sally sat beside me and helped me write a letter to Cliff, a letter telling him of my need to end our engagement. Once the letter was written, she handed me an envelope, had me address it, slapped on the necessary postage and personally ensured I dropped the letter into a postbox.
“Believe me, Penny,” she’d said as I’d tearfully walked away from that postbox. “In a few years, you will see the wisdom of this moment.”
“Well, Aunt Sally, it’s been nearly ten years, and I still don’t see thewisdomyou so promised.”
Grasping the steering wheel of my car, I tilted my head back and fought the tears that threatened to stream down my face.
All the heartache, all the pain, all the guilt came back to me, stronger than ever. I’d spent the last decade meeting men and subconsciously measuring them up to Cliff. I’d spent the last decade breaking up with men because they didn’t measure up to my first love. I’d spent a good part of the last decade finding fault with every man, because...
Here I was, twenty-nine years old, alone, a spinster...an old maid, as Aunt Sally would say...because no man could ever live up to Cliff Healy.
