Page 24 of Carver
“Wisdom and resilience. Just two of many things that I wish for her, but maybe the most important two.”
He inhales sharply and his breath crackles on the exhale. It’s different this time. I can almost hear the joy in it.
“Of course you can meet her.”
“Not at my place. Don’t bring her there. Ever.” I’ve never heard him so emphatic about anything. The depth of that passion spills over into wonderment. “Please, Bronte. I need your help.”
His hand is tucked below my breastbone, his arm like a banded cage of safety wrapped all around me. With his warmth and the hard muscle of his body pressed up against my back, I’ve never felt so safe in all my life.
He’s never said those words to me before. Never that exact phrasing.
“Anything. Anything, Dom.”
“Will you help me find someone to talk to? A therapist? I’ve got a good PT in mind, and Archer has agreed to do whatever surgeries I’ll need in the future. The club would help me relocate here. I don’t know why, but I know that all I have to do isask Dravin, and he’ll arrange it. But I’ve always known that the physical parts of me aren’t what truly needs to be fixed. I can’t put that on you.”
“You can put some of it on me.”
He tenses, but then he lets it go, his body coming flush against mine when he lets out his breath unspool. “Yes. You’re my best friend. You’re my lover. You’re everything to me. You’re themother of my child.”
“I’ll help you find someone. We won’t stop until you have the perfect fit.” Even if it takes years, as healing often does, or a thousand therapists, I’ll make good on my word. “You can come see Elowen anywhere. My parents’ house, if you like. They’d love to see you. My whole family would. Or I can bring her to Hart.”
“It’s so much change for a baby. What- what does she like?”
I smile immediately, even as instant pain wells up in my chest at not being there tonight with my daughter. I know she’s well loved, and even if she misses me, it will only be for a few seconds before she’s overwhelmed with love by my family.
“She loves stories. She’s like me that way. I read to her when she was in the womb, like my mom did for all of us. She’s a happy baby. She likes fruit and veggies, but those rice cracker things are her favorite. She’s not afraid to try new things. It’s so easy to make her laugh. She’s only eleven months old, but you can already see the wonderment she has for the world. She loves Georgie and Dempsey.” The big orange tom cat who was never supposed to make his home indoors, but nevertheless ended up being doted on by all of us, and our ancient German Shepherd, the gentlest dog known to the world, have both adopted Elowen as their own.
“She sounds incredible.”
“She is. She’s so beautiful. She has so much spirit.”
“Will she be afraid of me?”
He’s holding me tight, but he lets me break it so I can angle around. “No. Never. She hasn’t seen any strangers though. Her whole world has been us and us alone, so that we could keep the secret. She’ll be fascinated by you, but babies see with their heart. They have instincts that we somehow lose when we grow up. We forget to see the world with that kind of special innocence. She’ll sense your goodness, your tenderness, and your fierce desire to protect her, and she’ll love you immediately. She’ll know you, Dom. She’s half of you.”
The magnetic force between us is too strong. I’ve missed him too much. I lean forward and he doesn’t pull away or jerk back. I feather a kiss over his mouth, tasting the wintergreen toothpaste. He never liked just mint. I trace his lip to the safe side of his face, kissing the corner. His hand tangles in my hair, half in frustration, half in desire. I know it’s not fair to do this. Not when he still needs time to heal and recover. He can’t even open his mouth without the stitches pulling on the right side of his face.
I kiss him for him. I kiss him for me. I feather and flutter the softest ones over his lips, up his cheekbone, over to his temple.
I’ve seen every side of him. Light and dark. I’m ready to have the whole of him back and give him the whole of me in return.
“Even if we have a lot of change coming, I’d follow you anywhere. You want to come to Hart? I’ll be here and I’ll bringElowen. If you’re not ready for us, I’ll make sure we visit you multiple times a week. If you want to pack up your things and have Dravin help you move here after you find a place, I’ll be right there packing boxes.” I kiss the corner of his mouth again, chastely, but still brimming over with passion. “Anything and anywhere.”
His forehead meets mine and he cups the back of his head, splaying his whole palm there. “Anything and anywhere,” he repeats huskily.
I love youaren’t the only three words that can heal the fractures in a heart.
Chapter 7
Carver
For a stoic, ex-SEAL, Dravin is surprisingly communicative. He doesn’t have to say anything to express a single emotion. All he has to do is turn in the driver’s seat of the truck, and I’m bombarded with plenty of silent questions.
Are you okay? Are you going to make it? Are you going to stroke out? Did I do the right thing telling Archer that I’d make sure you stayed in one piece even though he advised against this?
He shuts the truck off without voicing any of it. The silence is only uncomfortable because I’m a wreck of nerves.
Archer wanted me to wait over a week before I did much of anything at all, but Dravin talked him down. He could tell that if I stayed at his place for another day, I was going to just start devising escape plans that involved walking my ass all the way to Bronte’s farm.
