Page 42 of Carver
“Ham and cheese omelette and a walk with Ellie after? There are some good parks close by. I looked at a city map while she had her snack and milk this morning.”
“I knew I wasn’t half asleep when you said she’d eaten.”
“That was just her first meal. She needs at least five before lunch.”
I have a lot to learn, but I’mexcited. I’m so up for the challenge. “Can we talk about the party after I shower?”
“I would love that!” Even if it was cloudy or pouring rain outside, Bronte’s enthusiasm would power this whole house. “We don’t have to do it on the actual day either. If we’re not ready. No stress.”
“Okay.”
She bends over the bed and grazes my cheek with a kiss. “Okay.”
Elowen babbles something that sounds an awful lot like that, but it’s followed up with squeals, hand waving, dancing in her mom’s arms, and a whole lot of excited chatter.
I don’t mean to sound surprised when I laugh, but hearing her carry on her own conversation isawesome. I can just imagine all she’ll have to tell us soon, when she finds her words.
Bronte sings to Ellie as they walk downstairs. Her voice carries from down below. I stand up, shoving my legs into my jeans and adjusting myself so that I can zip the fuckers up. All the pressures of this new living arrangement hit me all at once. I’m a dad. I need to figure out a way to provide for Bronte. I need to start sculpting again. The thousand ideas just waiting to be freed from my brain are starting to take up more space than I want to give them. If I wait much longer, it’s going to be nearly unbearable not to sculpt.
I know that Bronte doesn’t have expectations about this, but of course she does. Doesn’t everyone? The whole,I want to get it rightmantra starts to pulverize my brain.
I don’t want to go there. Shower. Planning a party for my daughter. Breakfast. A lovely walk with the love of my life. That’s what I want to focus on. The rest will fall into place, and if it doesn’t, then I’ll fix it.
Bronte is already in full omelette mode in the kitchen. It makes my throat tight and brings an easy smile to my face when Ellie waves at me like she didn’t just see me a few minutes ago. She’s in her highchair, distracted with a plastic dish with cut up banana pieces.
The bathroom is tiny and mint green themed. The tub, toilet, and sink are all mint, and so is the backsplash that wraps around the tub and continues on for another few feet to surround the sink.
It might be no bigger than a cupboard in here, but it’s clean and the shower has hot water.
Other than Dravin’s place, I never showered anywhere but at home. Calling it that now makes me realize how much I hate that word because that farmhouse never felt like a home. The water was always cold. I never had a hot water heater that worked growing up and after my dad and uncles were gone, I didn’t bother to replace it.
The hot water cascades over me. It feels incredible as it hits my stiff shoulder. Part of me still thinks about turning the tap to cold, but I rest my forehead against the tile and let the water stream over me instead. It’s still such a novelty that I take longer than I probably should, doing nothing at all.
A few minutes later, when Bronte knocks on the door, I crank the water off, guilt swamping me at the fact she’s probably going to tell me that I used all the hot water in the house.
“Dom?”
“Hey. Sorry, I—”
“What? Don’t be sorry,” she says, cutting me off. “Kael just called me and wants to know if we’d like to go look at a new studiospace she found. She hasn’t liked anything so far, but she says she has a gut feeling about this one.”
“Are you okay with that?” I step over the edge of the tub and grab the black fluffy towel off the rack, slinging it around my hips. It used to be hard to do pretty much everything one-handed, but like everything, I have such a routine now that I barely notice.
“For sure!”
“But you wanted to go to the park.”
“We could still do that. She says she made the appointment for noon, but if we can’t make it, we don’t have to worry. She’ll send video and call us after. She already sent me the link for the listing. It was just posted this morning. I haven’t looked through it yet. I thought I’d save that for you to do first.” She hesitates for a second to take a breath. “Are you okay if I get you fresh clothes out of your bags? I noticed you didn’t bring anything down with you.”
I turn around and grasp the sink as the craziness of our near fucking cosmic connection fully hits. I really appreciate that Bronte respects my things and my privacy. She never pushes or assumes. It’s a small thing and maybe it would be weird to other people, but right now, it means a lot. It means even more that she noticeseverything. She could have checked that link out, but it’s beyond sweet that she wanted to save it to do it together.
“Oh, and your omelette is just about ready.”
There’s no fan in the bathroom and I used so much hot water that the air is misty. I swipe a line across the mirror and stare at myself. Why did the universe choose to bless me, of all people, like this? This is my life. I can hardly fucking believe it.
“Dom?”
I whirl away from the sink and throw the door open, surprising the hell out of Bronte. She stands there gaping at me before she finally gives me a slow blink.
