Page 45 of Carver
“I didn’t know what to get for you guys either, so I went with the popular flavors. I got a cookie cyclone, and a strawberry one. Or, if you’re particularly adventurous, you could have mine, but it’s what Dravin likes to call a proper horror show. It’s mint with toffee pieces, cookies, and gummy worms, cheesecake pieces, and raspberry sauce on the top.”
Elowen lifts her head at just that moment and we all laugh. “No offense, but hard pass. I value my teeth too much for that one.” He picks the cookie cyclone and hands me strawberry, but I know he’ll switch with me halfway through. Very, very rarely,we’d go for ice cream together and we always swapped what we got.
Kael takes her monstrosity in a cup and sits down in one of the chairs. Dom sinks into the chair closest to Ellie and I take one side of the couch.
“I hope it wasn’t leaping straight into the deep end to call you my business partner. I worried about that as soon as I said it. There’s a good chance the ice cream is a peace offering. It’s just easier than trying to explain the real situation to someone who very clearly doesn’t deserve an explanation and wouldn’t be interested anyway.”
“I didn’t mind.”
“Oh. Thank goodness,” Kael breathes out on a massive exhale. She slaps her hand in front of her mouth, but lowers it to reveal a shy smile. “Dravin says I have this habit of leaping before I’m even certain there’s water in there, never mind the deep end.” She rolls her eyes. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.” It’s so clear that she knowsexactlywhat he means. People who can poke fun at themselves are hilarious. “Just because I tried to join an underground fight and illegally bet on myself to kick some huge, very scary guy’s ass, didn’t mean he had to swoop in and save me. I would have been just fine. I was well trained.”
My mouth drops open and I can’t seem to do it back up. “Erm… holy, wow,” I whisper-gasp.
“Don’t tell him I told you that.” Kael waves her spoon at me, laughing likeeh, it’s no big deal.“Let’s talk about something more exciting.”
“More exciting than illegal underground fights and you getting into the ring?” Dom asks, like he’s just checking.
“Cage, actually,” she corrects.
“Ellie’s party,” I interject. “We’d like to do one. With the club, if you think they’d be up for something like that. And with my family. But no one has to be obligated to come, and—”
“No one has to be obligated?” Thankfully, Kael interrupts my rambling. “Are you kidding?” she shrieks, but not in a way that raises hairs. Just incredulously. “If there’s anything that bikers like more than bikes or… err… club life, it’s a party outside of club life.”
That gets my mind churning, wondering if this is a bad idea. The people from the club are great. I can say that without fully knowing them, but I’m sure that they do like to have a good time. Will that mix well with my family? Is bringing a whole bunch of burly bikers together with all sorts of pasts and mannerisms the best thing to do for a one-year-old’s birthday party?
Kael reads the doubt and turmoil right off my face. “The guys are very family oriented,” she assures us. “Many of them don’t have kids or old ladies, or much extended family, but that only makes them even more eager to celebrate the ones who do. The club puts the ‘it takes a community’into it takes a community.” She gives us air quotes around those words, all while balancing her ice cream in her hand. “It’s going to be so exciting around here. People keep meeting people and falling in love, so soon there will probably be tons of kids running around. I’m definitely not ready for that myself yet, but I’d love to be the cool, artsy auntie. Are you going to have more soon? That would be super fun. Orrrr, I’m just going to be quiet and eat this amazing, delectable, world’s greatest creation of an ice cream that ever existed and let you guys talk.” Her eyes flick between Dom and me before landing on Ellie, who has pretty much inhaled all her ice cream and is now trying to lick it off her hands and face.
“I’m not sure whose spirit animal you are, but you’reawesome,” I sigh wistfully. “I wish it was mine.”
I hand my sweet daughter the slightly soggy ice cream cone. The way she smiles melts me, because you’d think that I’d just handed her the world. She grabs it in sticky hands and immediately goes in for the munch and crunch.
“No, you don’t. You’d have to be punished just like me then. Dravin personally sees to it. Oh, shoot. Don’t tell him I told you that either.” Kael flushes, but that doesn’t stop her from winking at me.
That sends me back into that tailspin that I’d semi-forgotten about, so freaking fast.
Punished.
That’s something I’ve never done. It doesn’t have to be extreme, but now I’ve gone from thinking about eating ice cream off of Dom to thinking about him spanking me and doing something extremely taboo with it after. Dribbling it over my red, smarting ass and licking it off. Or tying me to the bed, clamping my nipples, and covering my belly and so much lower with strawberry ice cream and licking it all off agonizingly slowly as a torturous way of edging me into madness. Would that throw off the pH balance? Why do I always have to ruin my sexy thoughts with science? It would be nice to be impractical, even just for a few seconds. Jesus, I can’t even bring myself to call my vagina anything other than that. It feels too naughty. Or to swear. I never cursed before I had a child.
Dom could punish me for being too good. He could tell me to use dirty words and then when I couldn’t do it, spank me. On my backside and maybe… other places?
I need to read less classics and more dirty books. I needideas.
I’m starting to realize that though Dom and I have had sex in private, but outdoor places, out of necessity, I’m still about as vanilla as Ellie’s ice cream.
“So, what do you both think about the building?” Kael has no problem diving right back into it. “If you hate it, you can just tell me. If you need time to think, that’s just fine too. If you love it, let me know. We’ll figure it out.”
Ellie growls like a wild animal while she attacks her cone. It’s extra loud in the sudden silence.
Kael and I look at each other and we both burst into laughter. “You know what? Take your time. You probably want to talk about it. Just don’t feel any obligation. Whatever you both want, it’s fine. Let’s talk fun things. Ellie’s party. What a sweetheart, devouring that treat. Just because I’m a fun auntie, doesn’t mean I can’t be responsible. I’ll help you clean her up, I promise.”
I can’t answer for Dom about the building. I know he needs time to approach a problem, to study it from every angle, before making a decision. The birthday party isn’t something I can plan on my own either. Not something of the magnitude it will probably turn into. I’m more than thankful to have Kael’s help, and to have her here as a friend. Ginny, my mom, and Dom have always been my best friends. I have friends, but I’ve never had anyone be super close outside of my family.
Watching Ellie chomp down the rest of her cone and then pound her hands happily on her highchair tray, pure joy on her face, I know that I can let go of all my worries.
Finding Dom a studio, the birthday party, missing my family, settling in here, making a life together.
We’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay together, as a family, surrounded by people who care. It might be a little bit inexplicable that we’re going to fit, but we will.
