Page 31 of Dust and Desire
Ali: No. This is a new guy.
My heart thudded a little harder as I stared at her text. I wasn’t jealous exactly, but something about the text made my stomach knot up. Ali didn’t belong to me, I knew that. But the idea of her with another guy, alone in her apartment, well… I don’t know. It just felt…weird.
“It’s been two years,” I grumbled to myself, turning my head toward the ceiling with a sigh. “She’s not a nun. I’m sure there’s been plenty of guys.”
But why was she telling me about this one?
It took me a moment to formulate a reply that didn’t sound accusatory.
Me: So is this a date or just a celebration dinner?
It still sounded accusational. Fuck.
Ali: It’s a date. Well, more than that I guess. I’ve been seeing him for a while now.
Me: I’m happy for you! Why didn’t you say anything?
Ali: I don’t know… I feel stupid for keeping it a secret now. It’s not like we’re married anymore.
I tried to ignore the hurt that coursed through me at those words. It was my fault we’d gotten divorced. She was probably still upset about it. Hell, I still was, and I was the one that filed.
Me: I want you to be happy, Ali. And I know it didn’t work out with us, but I still want you to find your perfect guy and live a good life. And I’d like to be your friend if I can. You’re still important to me.
There was a very long pause before those three dots came back.
Ali: Thanks Dustin.
When no more messages came through, I went inside and put something on other than pajama pants. I needed a walk to clear my head.
I grabbed my jacket and headed out into the crisp morning air, my feet carrying me along the familiar path toward the creek without conscious thought. The same path Alex had led me down last night, where everything had changed between us. The memory of his mouth on mine, the way he’d looked at me in the moonlight, sent warmth flooding through my chest despite the cool breeze.
But Ali’s text had stirred up something uncomfortable in my gut. Not jealousy exactly, but a strange mix of guilt and... what? Relief? The rational part of my brain knew she deserved happiness, deserved someone who could love her the way she needed to be loved. But there was still that small, selfish part of me that felt like I was losing the last connection to my old life. Like this was the final nail in the coffin for Dustin Corvus, the New York corporate lawyer and everything he’d ever worked for.
I kicked at a loose stone on the path, watching it skitter into the tall grass. Maybe that was the point. Maybe I needed to lose those connections to fully embrace who I was becoming. Last night with Alex had felt like the first honest moment I’d had with another person in years. No pretending, no forcing myself to be someone I wasn’t. Just me, raw and real and finally, finallymyself.
The creek came into view, its surface sparkling in the morning sun. I settled onto the same rock where Alex and I had sat, where he’d first kissed me. The memory made my lips tingle, and I found myself touching them absently, still hardly believing it had happened.
I shed my jacket after only a couple of minutes, the sun burning away the coolness in the air quickly. The dew was already off the grass and in less than an hour, the entire prairie would be baking under the Texas sun. My phone buzzed again. This time it was a text from an unknown number that had an area code I’d never seen before.
Unknown: Hey gorgeous. It’s Alex. Got your number from Caroline. Hope that’s okay. Can’t stop thinking about last night.
My heart did a little flip as I saved his contact information, adding the heart emoji next to his name like he’d drawn on the note.
Me: More than okay. I can’t stop thinking about it either.
Alex: Good. Because I’ve been distracted all morning. Nearly dropped a hay bale on my foot.
I laughed out loud, the sound echoing across the water.
Me: I’d hate to be responsible for any workplace injuries.
Alex: Worth it. You’re worth a lot more than a bruised foot.
Heat crept up my neck at his words. Even over text, he had this way of making me feel desired, wanted in a way I’d never experienced before.
Me: Where are we going tonight?
Alex: It’s a surprise. But dress casual. Jeans are fine.
