Page 13 of Nanny for Grumpy Grant
That hits harder than I expect.
Caleb doesn’t raise his voice. He never does. But there’s something in the way he says it—low, disappointed—that makes my jaw tighten.
He exhales. “You’re never going to find the right nanny. Because you don’t want to.”
“That’s not true.”
“You want control. You want predictability. You want someone who doesn’t exist.”
“I’m doing my best?—”
“Maybeyoushould be the nanny,” Caleb says. “Stay home with Emily full-time, and we’ll hire someone to doyourjob at Carter Ridge.”
“That’s nonsense,” I snap. “I can work from home.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
The silence that follows is heavier than anything he’s said. Then, without another word, Caleb hangs up.
I sit in stunned silence as I chew on the fact: Caleb, the peacemaker, the even-tempered one, hangs up on me.
I stare at the screen in front of me, but I don’t see it. I don’t even blink. I just sit there, feeling something twist in my chest.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes.
The problem isn’t Ivy.
It’s me.
I’m the one who can’t let go. I’m the one who sees someone trying—and pushes them away before they can walk out on their own.
Because that moment—when I stepped into the living room and saw her on the floor with Emily, using that ridiculous fox puppet, both of them giggling—I felt something I haven’t felt in years.
Hope.
A tiny spark of relief. Like maybe… maybe we found someone who could make Emily smile again. Who could bring life back into the house.
And then it hit me—what if Ivy leaves?
What if she gets a job back in Portland next week? What if she realizes this town is too small, or the pay too low, or Emily too much?
What if Emily gets attached and Ivy disappears?
Like Liz did.
Shit.
I didn’t reject Ivy because she wasn’t good enough.
I rejected her because I was afraid to lose her.
Which is insane. She’s not Liz. She’s nothing like Liz.
Well… okay. They both have blonde hair. And blue eyes. But that’s where it ends.
Liz was twenty years older than Ivy, but aside from their age difference, she was soft-spoken and gentle—the kind of personwho made people feel warm just by walking into a room. Ivy’s sharp and skeptical and doesn’t even try to hide her opinions. She challenges everything. She drives me up the damn wall.
