Page 107 of Twisted Violet
I just say the only part I haven’t said out loud yet.
“I didn’t stop it.”
There’s a long pause.
Dr. Kim leans forward slightly. “You were a soldier. Under command. That doesn’t make it okay, but-”
“No. It doesn’t.” I say, finally meeting his eyes. “He begged me for help, and I just sat there. So now… every time the lights go out, I see him. I see what I let happen. And I remember I didn’t save him.”
There’s a long silence.
Then I say the part I never thought I’d say.
“I did the same thing with Violet. I shut down. Her sister was pressing us, wanting to know what she meant to us. Vi was in the hallway listening, and I said nothing, even though I already knew how I felt about her.”
“And how do you feel about her?
“Until Vi…” I pause, trying to find the right words. “I didn’t think anyone could look at me and see anything but the worst parts. And I didn’t give a damn if they did.”
It’s quiet for a long moment. My throat feels scraped raw, but the words keep coming.
“She makes me want to be… better. Not for me. For her. So when it matters, when itreallymatters, she knows I’llbe there.”
When I get backto the apartment, Ollie rushes up to greet me. Tongue out. Tail wagging.
Dallas is on the couch, flipping through channels. Rome’s in the kitchen with a glass of something brown and expensive.
Rome nods toward me. “Therapy?”
I nod back. “Yeah.”
He lifts his glass slightly, like a quiet show of respect, then sips.
Dallas speaks without looking up. “I saw her this morning.”
My spine straightens. “Where?”
He shrugs. “Little bakery downtown. She was working. Looked good. Happy.”
The word sits heavy in the room.
Rome leans against the counter, arms crossed. “Stevie said she moved out of the guesthouse two weeks ago. Got her own place and everything.”
Dallas tosses the remote onto the couch cushion beside him. “I didn’t go in. Just… watched her through the window.”
The silence turns sharp. Thick with things we’ll never say out loud.
Finally, I ask, “What’s the name of the bakery?”
Dallas glances at me. “Why?”
I don’t answer, because I don’t have a good one.
Dallas sighs, then tells me.
I nod once.
And say nothing else.
