Page 15 of Beg for Death
Slowly, he moved. When he turned over on his ass, he didn't look up at me. Instead, he reached out and dragged the bag closer to him. He unzipped it and peered inside. For a moment, he paused, and then his eyes widened. Felix dug into the bag and pulled out the bear first. He put it into his lap and hugged it against his stomach with one hand while he dug around the bag with the other. Felix pulled out his medical bag and dumped the pills onto the bed. He let out a shaky sound, relief on his face.
"Thank you, sir," he whispered.
"Whatever," I mumbled. "Don't have time for you to be having a mental breakdown on me."
He nodded. "Can… can I have some food?" he whispered. "I get sick if I take these meds on an empty stomach."
I glared. "Why don't you just ask me to let you go next, hmm? Or how about you demand me to dance around naked for you? The fucking audacity of you. ¿Sabes lo que podría hacerte?"you know what i could do to you?
"Never mind," he whispered.
I stared at his bowed head, the way his shoulders were up so high now. Stomping my way out of the room, I yanked the door shut behind me. The boom filled the air, and I stormed into the kitchen. Going over to the fridge, I looked inside. Usually I gave him the same bullshit everyday, but I’d run out of it yesterday and hadn't had the chance to remake it again. Grumbling, Iyanked out a plate that I'd covered with foil. Underneath was the last of my steak, some tortillas I'd cooked, and some rice and beans. I nuked it in the microwave for a bit and then carried it back to his room. He jumped when the door hit the wall, his body trembling all over.
"Here," I snapped. "Take the damn plate. And drink the fucking water," I said as I tossed a water bottle on the bed beside him. "And take the pills. I didn't go all the way over there and risk my ass for nothing."
"Y-yes, Daddy."
I choked on my next words. "The hell do you keep calling me that for?" I asked. "You got daddy issues or something?"
"No… Yes… I don't know."
"What do you know?" I asked.
"I-I don't know," he said, the words almost a wail.
"Okay, okay," I said as I walked over to him. "Stop that goddamn noise you're making before I give you a reason to make noise." I shoved the plate more into his hands. "Eat. Now. I went out of my way. You better appreciate every single bite."
Felix seemed to look at the plate for the first time. He blinked. It wasn't the usual bowl of stew and bread; this was a real meal. One that was supposed to be mine, but I had no desire to hear the boy vomit all night after he choked down his pills. I crossed my arms over my chest. Waiting.
"Eat," I ordered. "Now."
Felix fumbled with the plate. He quickly tore off some tortilla and used it to scoop the food up. When it touched his tongue, he hummed softly. It was a sound of pure satisfaction. He looked up at me for a moment. Those big, honey eyes staring into mine with emotions and words that made me squirm. Whatever was going on in that head of his? I wanted nothing to do with it. I took a step back, patted my pocket, and found my smokes.Clenching one between my teeth, I lit it up and exhaled a cloud of smoke. I stared at him.
"Stop watching me and eat," I demanded.
"Yes, Daddy."
My stomach turned. I was going to shove his head into that mattress and fuck his ass so hard he wouldn't be able to sit tomorrow if he didn't stop. No one had ever called me that, and the truth was that I had always thought it was a little stupid. But hearing Felix say it? It felt different. Maybe I was just horny. To be fair, my sex drive had always been high, and being trapped in one place with the plump little scared boy… Every inch of him called to me. I'd always liked a man with a bit of weight on him, the sheer size, the fact that I could overpower even someone who might be able to come close to overpowering me? It stroked something in my brain. And went straight to my dick.
As I ashed on the floor, Felix looked at his food. Finally, he put it to the side, shook out his pills one by one, and then took them. Wincing, he swallowed them down and pulled a face. The look of bitter pill disgust. Felix grabbed the plate again and went back to eating.
"What's up with you and your father?" I asked. "How are you such a fucking mess?"
Felix's face went red. "You mean because he's not?" he whispered. He shrugged. "My dad has always had his shit together. The only reason I came along is because he had a reckless night and I was the result. My mom ditched us quickly and he always took care of me, but he always looked at me like I was wrong. Like I was beneath him," he muttered. "Like I was dirt. When I could get away, I did. College was my way out. We barely talk now. Most times, I don't even think he knows whether I’m alive or dead."
"Jesus," I muttered.
He glanced away. "Yeah."
What a rough upbringing. Jasper had always acted like he was on some moral high ground. Pictures of his son on the wall, a good job, a clear conscience. And yet he'd neglected the hell out of Felix. The boy couldn't even get his crap together. I took a step forward.
"Who else do you have in your life?"
Felix blinked up at me. "Sir?"
"Who else is in your life? I always saw you alone. You don't have friends? A boyfriend? Other family?"
He frowned. "The rest of my family has always been distant. Aunts, uncles, grandparents. I didn't have a close one growing up," he admitted. "I have a few friends, but most of them are online. One I was supposed to meet up with when…" He trailed off. "I had an ex-boyfriend. He was an RA at the college, but not for my dorm. For another one."
