Page 26 of Beg for Death
Felix had told me all of it. Usually at night when I pretended to sleep so he could shut the fuck up. He'd whisper about how bad it had gotten, how complicated it had all felt, how trapped he was. And how Cameron dangled it in his face that no one else would ever want him. That no one would ever want to be withhim when he was into such weird shit. Every word had burned a hole in my brain. I was always in need of a victim, and Felix? He had the kind of people around him that begged to be put into a grave.
Cameron followed me out of the bar and back to the car. He slid inside. I would have to double back to get his car, but right now, I didn't know if he had a tracker in it. If it would tie him to my place. So we rode out in my car, him talking about all the fucked-up things he wanted to do to me that made me want to laugh in his face. Instead, I nodded, trying to act as if I could ever take him seriously.
We finally pulled up to the cabin. I was glad that I wouldn't have to listen to him talk for much longer. Someone needed to shut him the hell up. Fast. We moved to the cabin and I let us inside before closing the door behind us and throwing the locks.
"What the fuck?" Cameron muttered.
I turned and saw Felix standing there. His bear was in his arms, his eyes wide, the shackle gleaming around his ankle as he stared at us. Cameron stared back, his big blue eyes wide as he took in the sight of his ex-boyfriend. I let them stare at each other in silence for a while before I finally stepped forward. Cameron jumped and Felix's eyes darted to me.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Cameron hissed. "What the hell, Felix? I'm here because of your fat, useless ass? Are you?—"
I punched Cameron in the back of the head. My knuckles ached, throbbing as he fell forward and hit the floor. A cry left his lips and he groaned from where his face connected with the floor, the sound of crunching bone and the scent of blood perfuming the air. I walked around to his side and kicked him hard, my boot going into his ribs. Another crack echoed and he screamed.
"Well, looks like I got the right hijo de puta, right?" I glanced up at Felix. "You dated this piece of shit? Your taste in men is crap."
Felix stared. "W-what is he doing here?"
"What do you think?" I asked. I paused. "Did I leave that door unlocked?"
He nodded. "Yes, sir," he whispered.
"Huh."
Shit, I didn't even remember doing that. I needed to be more careful. Moving over to Felix, I plucked the teddy bear from his arms and sat it on the counter. He reached for it, but he knew better than to go after it. He whimpered.
"You don't need it right now," I said. "It's just gonna get bloody. You want it to get dirty?"
"No, Daddy," he whispered.
"Daddy?" Cameron gasped out. "What the fuck? Is this some sick fucking game?" He coughed harshly. "Let me go!"
"Keep talking so I can stomp your head in," I said, lighting up a cigarette. I blew smoke up to the ceiling and didn't take my eyes off Felix. "Want to help?"
Felix looked uneasy. I saw it in his eyes, the way he shrank back away from the scene like he was scared. I closed the space between us, pulled out my knife, and pressed it into his palm. I yanked him forward.
"He abused you, tore you down, and manipulated you. Don't you want to get back at him?" I growled. Felix shook his head quickly. "Really? You're just going to give up like that? Not gonna fight back? Or were you lying?"
"I wasn't lying!" Felix said quickly. "It was all true."
"Then stand up for yourself," I demanded.
Felix pulled away a bit. "I don't want to…" he whispered. "I-I can't. I know what he did was wrong. You treat me better than he ever did. I still don't want to hurt anyone. Last time was badenough," he said, his eyes on the floor now. "Please don't make me."
I stared at him. God, he was so fucking fragile. I saw the look in his eyes, the pleading there in that honey gaze as he finally looked up at me. I took the knife away from him.
"Go to your room."
Felix stared at me. "What?"
"You deaf along with being stupid now?" I asked. "Get your ass in that fucking room. Shut the door, sit down, shut the fuck up," I said, huffing now. "Te traigo un puto regalo y ni siquiera estás agradecido," I bring you a fucking present and you're not even grateful, I muttered to myself. "Get your teddy and go."
He stared at me. "Are you sure?" The look on his face was pure sadness. "Don't be angry, Daddy. I'm just not… you."
Me. As if I were some monster. Like the world hadn't made me this way. Hadn't taught me young that the only thing the world understood was suffering and blood. You could either be the monster or you would be the victim. That truth was reflected back at me now. Felix was a victim, and I? Nah, I was far from that shit. I waved a hand, dismissing him.
"Since when do I have to tell you twice?" I asked. "Go. To. Your. Room."
Felix searched my face. "Yes, sir."
