Page 43 of Totally Played
“And you think I… That me… It’s not… I mean… I just…”
He offers me a knowing smile, and I crumble, my shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Is it that obvious?” I ask, glancing around us to be sure no one else is nearby.
He shakes his head. “I think I just saw it because a few years ago I was you.”
“But who is that? I mean, it’s weird. Like, I liked him right away, we just…clicked. And at first, I figured it was just a bro thing. A fast friendship.”
“And now?”
I shrug. “Now, I hate the thought of him dating my brother, or anyone.”
“But do you want to date him?”
I glance back up to the stands where Ash is laughing alongside my sister. He looks my way, that wide smile growing even bigger when our eyes meet, and my stomach flutters and my heart beats just a little faster.
“I don’t know what I want,” I tell him, forcing myself to turn my back on Ash.
“Talk to Tony. I’m sure he can help you figure it all out.”
“Tell my twin brother that I have a thing for the guy he’s dating?”
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“He hates me.”
“You two are closer than any brothers I’ve ever known. No way is it going down like that. What do you call each other again? Oh, right, your ride or die. He’ll never hate you.”
“I guess I’ll have to find out.”
“After the game. Right now, we need to focus.” I nod and move into position.
Duckie is right. Tony and I have had each other’s backs since birth, hell, before even then. I know I already sort of brought up the queer subject a few nights ago, but I didn’t tell Tony why I was asking. I didn’t explain that meeting Ash changed something inside me or awakened something that was always there. I don’t want to push down those feelings or forget that Ash brought them out of me. I want the opposite. To be near him, to see what other desires he ignites.
The ball flies my way, and I’m pulled from my wandering thoughts just in time to raise my glove. The ball smacks hard, sending a sting through my palm. The crowd cheers. My gaze moves to Ash, he’s on his feet, a wide smile on his lips, and he’s cheering for me.
I toss the ball back to Ryan.
Okay. I have to tell Tony that I have feelings for a guy. His guy. Tony steps out onto the field, next up to bat, glancing behind him to the stands, a frown spreads on his lips. I follow his stare and see that Ash isn’t watching Tony. His gaze is still firmly on me, and a moment later, so is Tony’s, only his frown is replaced by a raised brow and a knowing smile.
***
The second the game is over, I pull Tony aside.
“So Ash is the reason you were asking me all those questions the other night?” Tony asks as I pull him through the first door I see. Unfortunately, that is the door to a janitor’s closet and the metal mop bucket clangs as his foot connects. “Why you were asking how I knew I was bi?”
“You were no help, by the way.”
“I’m always helpful.”
“You started a debate about who in the Marvel universe was hotter.”
He shrugs and checks the shelf behind him before leaning back. The light in here is an old orange bulb that makes the room resemble one of those old photo processing labs back in high school.
“So who do you think is hotter, Scarlet Witch or Captain America?”
“Scarlet Witch, hands down,” I reply, and he frowns.
