Page 55 of Winter Wishes at the Farm on MuddypuddleLane
A middle-aged couple were walking towards him and Mark recognised Beatrice’s parents and he turned away, not wanting them to see the anguish in his eyes. He had let Beatrice go once before, not understanding what he was throwing away. He would let her go again, but this time he knew all too well.
As he walked out of the hospital and out of Beatrice’s life, he was sure he was doing the right thing, no matter how much pain it caused him.
At least Mark hadn’t dumped her by text. Beatrice supposed she ought to be grateful for that small mercy. But a letter wasn’t much better. Just more old-fashioned.
Lisa handed it back to her after she’d read it, and Beatrice threw it on the coffee table. She grabbed a cushion, hugging it to her chest and hitched in a breath.
‘He didn’t even use proper paper,’ she said, as though the news of his departure would hurt less if it was written on a sheet of Basildon Bond paper, rather than a leaf torn out of a drawing pad. ‘Damn him!’
She sniffled and Lisa passed her a tissue. ‘“Doesn’t think it will work”,’ she quoted. ‘“It’s for the best”. Yeah, best forhim.’
‘More wine?’
‘How many bottles did you bring?’
‘Just the one.’ Lisa topped up Beatrice’s glass and she knocked half of it back. ‘Steady on, you don’t want to get drunk.’
‘Yes, I do,’ she replied grimly. ‘But I won’t. I can’t, not with Sadie like she is. I’ll save getting blotto for when she’s fully recovered.’ This was her daughter’s first night home since she’d collapsed at school. The letter, such as it was, had been waiting on the matt when Beatrice had got home. Thanks Mark, she thought bitterly.
‘You mightn’t want to get drunk by then,’ Lisa soothed.
‘Believe me, I will.’ Beatrice dabbed at her eyes. It had taken a herculean effort not to fall apart in front of the girls, but they were in bed now and if she couldn’t fall apart in front of her oldest and bestest friend, then who could she fall apart in front of? ‘I should have listened to you,’ she said.
‘You had to try.’
‘No, I honestly didn’t. I could have kept him at arm’s length, but I just had to fall in love with him again, didn’t I?’ She sounded as bitter as she felt.
‘You neverstoppedloving him,’ Lisa reminded her. ‘That was the problem.’
‘I never should have trusted him. What is it with me and men? Do I have a sign saying “treat me like dirt” on my forehead? God, I can bloody pick them, can’t I? First Eric, now Mark. He got what he came here for, an idea for his sodding book – whichIgave him – and he had a bit of fun at the same time. It was a win-win situation for him, wasn’t it?’ She drank the rest of her wine and held out her glass.
Lisa refilled it. ‘That’s your last,’ she warned. ‘You’ll feel dreadful if Sadie wakes you in the night and you’ve got a hangover.’
‘Stop being so bloody sensible!’
‘No more wine.’
‘It hurts, Lisa. It hurts so much. I thought we had something special.’ She screwed up her face, the damn about to break. ‘I guess the reality of a woman with two kids in tow was too much to handle.’
‘He doesn’t deserve you.’
‘No, he doesn’t. But that doesn’t make it any easier. I wish he’d loved me back then. I wish he loved me now. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, and me and Eric would be back together. And we both know that’s never going to happen.’
‘You what?’
‘It’s a saying. It means— I don’t know what it means. My nana used to say it.’ Beatrice hugged the cushion closer.
‘What about you and Eric?’ Lisa was looking perplexed, and Beatrice realised she hadn’t told her what had happened between her and Eric at the hospital.
‘He wants us to get back together, to try again, for the sake of the girls. He says that Sadie’s collapse was a wake-up call.’
‘Are you going to?’ She sounded aghast.
‘No way. Eric and I arenotgetting back together. I did love him once, but he killed that when he was unfaithful. Taya’s dearest wish is that we get back together, and to make it worse, she saw him kiss me.’
‘Erickissed you?When?’
‘At the hospital. He caught me unawares. I didn’t kiss him back, but Taya saw, and now she thinks there’s a chance we’ll get back together. I hate to disappoint her – it breaks my heart – but it’s not going to happen. How can it, when my heart belongs to Mark?’
