Page 104 of Secrets and Seashells at Rainbow Bay
Thirty-nine
‘There’s no way I can keep quiet about this, can I?’ I say to an expectant Benji, as I pace about the top floor of the tower. ‘It wouldn’t be right.’
‘Clara did,’ Benji says pragmatically. ‘She knew it was in her best interests to keep quiet about Mary.’
‘Well, Clara and I are very different breeds of Chesterford then. I can’t possibly take away someone’s right to all this.’ I gesture out of the window at the castle below. ‘If this isn’t rightfully mine and Charlie’s, then we’ll have to move out.’
As I’m saying this, an awful feeling of dread begins to spread right through me.
‘Are you sure?’ Benji asks. ‘You’re doing great things here, Amelia. Perhaps youarethe right Chesterford to take the castle on.’
I turn away from the window to look at Benji.
‘Do you want to go back to the estate?’ he continues. ‘What about Charlie? You’ve told me several times how well he’s doing since he came here. Is it inhisbest interests to make him leave his new home and move elsewhere again?’
I think about Charlie now. Benji is right, he’s been doing incredibly well since we came to live here; he’s definitely happier, and he’s doing so much better at school. By making him move again I’d likely be affectinghisfuture too, not only my own.
‘Perhaps you should think about it,’ Benji says softly. ‘And you’re forgetting one thing.’
‘What’s that?’
‘We don’t even know if George’s baby is still alive. I hate to sound morbid, but the fire the newspaper is referring to took place in 1952. That baby would be around sixty-seven years old now – things happen.’
‘Thatismorbid, Benji,’ I tell him. ‘You spend too much time reading about death.’
‘I speak only the truth,’ Benji says, shrugging.
‘Evenif they have passed away,’ I concede, ‘they might have had children of their own, so then one of them would be the rightful Chesterford heir.’
Benji sighs. ‘All right then, even if either the baby or one of their imaginary children is still alive, the chances of me finding him or her are minimal. Remember how long it took me to find you – and that’s when I actually wanted to.’
I stare hard at Benji, and he returns my gaze with one just as steely.
‘I like you being here, Amelia,’ he says. ‘A lot of people like you being here. You’ve done a tremendous amount of good, not only to the castle but to yourself and your family, too. If you want my opinion, I think you should forget all about this diary, all about Mary and her offspring, and continue doing what you already are – making sure that this castle remains here for another few centuries to come. That’s all any Chesterford has ever aimed to do, and I think makes you the best person to look after this castle that there could ever be.’
‘Thank you, Benji,’ I say, blinking back the tears that have formed in the corner of my eyes. ‘That’s a lovely thing for you to say, really it is, but I need to think about this. The Chesterfords seem to be a mixed bunch – some of them honourable people, some of them not so much.’ I think about Clara again. ‘But what I do know is that I am an honourable person, and what you’re asking me to do goes against all my principles.’
‘I know that,’ Benji says, ‘but I beg you to give this some serious thought, Amelia. What you decide won’t just affect you and Charlie, it will affect everyone else in your castle family as well. You should consider them, too, when you make your decision.’
‘Are you okay, Mum?’ Charlie asks me later when he’s getting ready for bed. ‘You’ve been very quiet tonight.’
After Benji dropped his bombshell, I spent the rest of the afternoon pacing around the castle trying to decide what to do. I knew what therightthing was; but like Benji had pointed out, was that thebestthing for everyone?
On my travels I’d watched Joey toiling happily in the gardens, Tom studiously polishing a mahogany table until you could virtually see his reflection in it, Dorothy in the kitchens making iced cup-cakes for everyone’s tea because ‘Master Charlie had asked so nicely for them’ and Tiffany cheerfully in charge of the office while Arthur was away. I’d even stood and watched some visitors wander around the Great Hall, and I’d enjoyed for once their funny comments and often naive observations at what they found there.
Everyone had been doing what they always did. But what had struck me today for the first time was how happy everyone was doing it.
‘Come and sit down,’ I say to Charlie, patting the sofa next to me. ‘I want to ask you something.’
‘Yes?’ Charlie says cautiously as he sits down. ‘What have I done?’
‘You haven’t done anything,’ I tell him. ‘I’m not going to scold you. Now we’ve been living here at Chesterford for a while, I want to ask you how you like it.’
Charlie still looks a tad suspicious, but he puts on his ‘thinking’ face. ‘I like it,’ he says succinctly. Then he looks at me as though that should be enough.
‘You like it, is that all?’
Charlie nods. ‘What more do you want? It’s cool living here – much better than the flat was.’
