Page 120 of Secrets and Seashells at Rainbow Bay
‘Did you know that Graham – I mean Toby – had just left his wife and child when you hooked up with him? You said he’d not long come out when you met him. In fact, you said he’d just come out of a difficult relationship.’
I glare once more at Graham, who at least has the decency to look ashamed.
‘No! Of course I didn’t know,’ Benji says, looking horrified.
‘I just wondered if that’s why you were so kind to Charlie and me when you met us, because you felt guilty that you’d been part of something similar before?’
‘Amelia, how can you even ask that?’ Benji says, looking hurt now. ‘I think the world of you and Charlie, you know that.’
I just nod. I need time to process all this.
‘HowisCharlie?’ Graham suddenly asks. ‘Is he around?’
‘No! You’re not seeing him,’ I shout, finally losing my composure now Charlie has been mentioned. ‘You . . . you have no right . . . no right at all to have anything to do with either of us any more.’ My voice, loud as it is, begins to tremble. ‘Do you hear me?’ I say to Benji and Tom. ‘He’s having nothing to do with Charlie! Nothing!’
I turn and I run. I’m not sure where I’m running to, but as I cross the gravel I just know I have to get away. I have to find Charlie and keep him safe from this man who has invaded both our castle and our home.
It takes me only a few minutes to remember that Charlie is at school right now in the village, and is, for the moment, safe from Graham.
So I head to the only place I know I’ll be able to get some peace for a while and think – the beach.
Even though it’s a warmish yet cloudy day, the beach to my utter relief is almost deserted, so I pull off my shoes and walk barefoot across the sand, breathing heavily, not only from the speed at which I’ve run here but from the shock I’ve just experienced.
Why did Graham have to try to come back into our lives now? After all this time, just when things were starting to go well for us for once,hehad to turn up again.
I kick angrily at the sand under my feet. Soft grains fly up in the air and land again almost as smoothly as before I’d kicked at them.
So I kick again, and the same thing happens – the beach simply smooths out my anger as soon as the grains land back down with the others.
Perhaps life is a bit like that too?I think, feeling myself beginning to calm.As much as something tries to disturb the sands of your life, they can only do so if you let them.
So what if Graham has found us? It doesn’t mean he has the right to disrupt our lives. He can only do that ifIlet him.
And that isnotgoing to happen.
I sit for a while against the side of one of the sand dunes that line the edge of the beach, letting the rhythmical sound of the waves calm my angry mind and soothe my worried soul. I wonder how many of my ancestors must have done the same when faced with a troubling time or a difficult decision.
The castle isn’t the only thing that has stood solidly in this area for hundreds of years; the sea and this beach in Rainbow Bay had been here for thousands of years before it.
‘How many troubles and anxieties must you have absorbed over time?’ I ask the grains of sand that slide easily through my fingers. ‘There must be the worries of thousands buried deep beneath your surface.’
‘Hello, miss,’ I hear from up above me. ‘You okay down there?’
I look up and see Joey clambering down over the dunes.
‘Yes, fine, Joey; thanks!’ I call back, still wanting to be alone with my thoughts.
But Joey continues to clamber across the sand until he reaches me. ‘I heard there was a bit of a ruckus in the courtyard,’ he says, sitting down next to me. ‘What’s going down with your ex? Me and Tom can soon see him off if you want us to – he won’t come bothering you again,’ he says knowingly.
‘Oh, Joey,’ I say gratefully, ‘it’s very good of you to offer, but I don’t think that’s going to be necessary.’
Joey shrugs. ‘The offer’s there if you want it.’
‘Thank you. I appreciate it.’
We sit without speaking for a few moments, the only sound between us the calling of the gulls above, and the never-ending waves continuing to wash along the sand.
‘Married to him, were ye?’ Joey asks after he’s sat thoughtfully for a while. ‘This Graham?’
