Page 124 of Secrets and Seashells at Rainbow Bay
‘But not your universe, eh?’
Graham and I gaze at each other across the table.
‘I should have done things differently; I know that now. If I could go back again I would do.’
‘But you’d still leave?’ I ask quietly.
Graham nods.
‘Good,’ I hear myself saying, like I’m having an out-of-body experience. ‘I’m glad. We might have struggled for a while without you, and if I could go back I might do a few things a little differently too. But I’d still want you to leave.’
Graham looks shocked and a little hurt to hear this.
‘You see, I’m stronger now, Graham. So much stronger and tougher than when you knew me; and it’s you that’s made me that way.’
‘I can see that,’ Graham says, a note of sarcasm returning to his voice again. ‘But what about Charlie?’
‘What about him?’
‘Doesn’t he need a father in his life?’
‘He’s managed without one for this long, and he seems to be doing just fine, thank you very much.’
‘You keep saying he’s doing fine. But can’t . . . can’t I even see him?’
I just stare at Graham. I knew this was coming, but I still can’t deal with it. I try to remember what Joey said to me on the beach, and how his words made me feel. But any empathy I might have felt for Graham’s situation is being completely blotted out by the man sitting in front of me.
‘He’s ten now, isn’t he? Almost eleven? A boy needs some male influence in his life.’
‘Male influence?’ I can’t help but smirk. ‘Are you suggesting you should be that male influence? Now that is a twist I hadn’t seen coming.’
‘Don’t be nasty, Amy. It doesn’t suit you.’
‘Amelia. And Charlie has plenty of male influence, as you call it. Since we came to live here, he has people that love and care for him – both male and female. We’ve made a new family, and I won’t have you messing with that.’
For the first time since Graham entered the room I feel myself begin to get emotional as I talk about my new Chesterford family.
‘If you mean that He-Man that tried to beat me up earlier,’ Graham sneers. ‘That’s hardly what I’d call a role model.’
‘If you mean Tom, he did not try to beat you up. I can assure you that if Tom had gone anywhere near you, you wouldn’t be sitting here now, that’s for sure. You’d probably be in hospital.’
It was a cheap shot, but I couldn’t resist it. Tom was better-looking, bigger and stronger than Graham, and there was nothing Graham could do to match that, and he obviously knew it.
‘Tom is great with Charlie, actually,’ I continue, just to rub salt into the wound. ‘An ideal role model, and even if he wasn’t around, Charlie would have Benji and Joey and Arthur – they all love him too. So I can assure you, if you think for one moment thatmyson is going without anything, you are very, very wrong.’
Graham sits silently for a moment, so I’m quiet too waiting for his next move.
‘But I’m his father,’ he says eventually in a low voice. ‘Please don’t keep me from him.’
I bite my bottom lip. He is right, of course. I know what I have to do, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
‘He comes out of school at three o’clock,’ I say, without looking at Graham. ‘I’ll walk him home and explain as best I can why you’re here and that you’d like to see him. And then if, and only if, he agrees, you can see him for ashortwhile.’
‘Thank you, Amy . . . I mean, Amelia,’ Graham says. ‘I appreciate this, really I do.’
I look directly at him now. ‘Don’tmess this up,’ I tell him in my harshest voice. ‘Because if you do, so help me I’ll . . . I’ll . . . I’ll have you locked up in the dungeons at the bottom of this castle, and I’ll throw away the key!’
Forty-seven
