Page 100 of Hope and Happiness in Bluebell Wood
‘It’s fine; we don’t have to go past there,’ I say hurriedly, seeing his stricken face. ‘We can turn back and go the other way.’
‘No, I let this happen. The least I can do is face up to what I’ve done. We’re carrying on this way.’
He sets off with Merlin, and after a moment or two I follow him.
‘You know,’ I say, catching up with him and slipping my hand into his again, ‘this development might still have gone ahead even if you hadn’t given your blessing.’
‘Don’t try to make it seem better by using words like blessing. I sold my village out for the price of a roof and a stained-glass window.’
‘You gave them the gift of a fully functioning church, a play park and a new village hall that so many people will benefit from when it’s built.’
Callum stops marching down the hill and turns to look at me. ‘For a person so caught up in the darkness of life,you do a good job of attempting to make everyone else see the light.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I ask, my hand slipping away from his.
‘Nothing.’ He goes to walk off, but I don’t follow him.
‘Are you coming?’ he says, stopping when he realises I’m not beside him.
‘What do you mean I’m so caught up in the darkness of life?’ I ask again. ‘I thought you understood what I’ve been through.’
‘I do. Of course I do,’ Callum says, walking back to me. ‘But every time I try to lighten your burden, try to help you understand that what happened wasn’t your fault, you ignore everything I say. Brush it aside as if it’s meaningless.’
‘Just because I refuse to believe that what happened was part of some “bigger plan”,’ I say, wiggling my fingers to make air quotes, ‘it doesn’t mean I dismiss everything you say.’
‘I don’t mean that. I’ve simply been trying to give you some meaning to what happened – a reason. Something that will make it easier for you to live with the event itself and its repercussions.’
‘I’m not one of your disciples,’ I say firmly. ‘Hanging off your every word while I wait for you to fix me. Hoping you’ll perform a miracle and magically cure me of my plague.’
‘You’ve just confused several moments in both the Bible and history there,’ Callum says, smiling a little. ‘But I get your gist.’
‘Don’t laugh at me!’ I say, feeling like he’s mocking me. ‘Just because I don’t know the Bible inside out like you do, it doesn’t make you better than me!’
‘It’s not only the Bible, it’s . . . Oh, it doesn’t matter,’ Callum says, shaking his head. ‘Honestly, Ava, I really and truly don’t see you as one of my parishioners in need of help. Goodness,I would be in trouble if I felt the way I feel about you about everyone in my congregation. I’d definitely get some very odd looks distributing Holy Communion!’
I can’t help but smile. Callum has this wonderful way of defusing my anger, and making whatever was riling me seem not quite as inflammatory as it had been moments before.
‘That’s better,’ Callum says. ‘One of your smiles is worth a million of your frowns. However sexy you are when you’re angry.’
‘Stop trying to flatter me,’ I tell him. ‘I’m not dark all the time, am I?’
‘No, of course you’re not, and when you are you have every reason to be. I know I can be one of those annoying sunny people who try to see the good in everything.’
‘Ah, he praises himself as well!’ I say, grinning. ‘Is there no end to your talents?’
‘I’ll show you later if you like,’ Callum says, grabbing me and pulling me to him.
‘I might take you up on that!’
‘Oi, oi!’ a voice says as we’re just about to kiss. We both turn towards the voice and see a man coming out of the trees behind us doing up his belt. ‘Don’t mind me, call of nature!’
It’s one of the builders from the site.
‘Is it absolutely necessary for you to do that?’ I say. ‘Don’t you have a Portaloo or something?’
‘We did, but it’s out of order today – blocked up. A man has to relieve himself somewhere!’
I turn and look at Callum, who looks as appalled as I feel.
