Page 33 of Hope and Happiness in Bluebell Wood
‘Hot flush, dear?’ Jenny whispers as she squeezes past behind my chair. ‘I know that feeling well.’
‘No, I’m just a bit warm tonight, that’s all.’
‘Ah, lucky you not to have started that yet. I’m a martyr to mine. Always going red in the face I am, and surprisingly it’s not just Mr Bird annoying me that’s the cause!’
I smile up at her.
‘Call of nature,’ she whispers, her head gesturing towards the Ladies. ‘I’ll be right back – that’s another downfall at my time of life!’
I watch Jenny go, and then my glance falls over the bar again. Now it’s even more packed. There also seems to be some sort of delay at the bar. Alouette has gone to help out, and her husband Jack is pulling persistently on a pump to try to get some beer to flow.
Breathe, Ava, I tell myself.Breathe!
But it’s no good; I can’t stand it any more. My head is beginning to swim, and I feel sick and dizzy. I have to get out of here.
Merlin, who willingly seems to have become the team mascot tonight, is currently being fussed by Jonah, and looks perfectly happy.
I stand up suddenly. ‘Be right back,’ I say to no one in particular, and I make a dash for the door.
But weaving my way through the busy bar area isn’t easy, and as I find myself being jostled and bumped a little, I can feel the wave of nausea beginning to rise. Attempting to reach the elusive exit feels like I’m trying to swim up from the murky depths of the sea, searching for the moment I can finally gulp down some fresh air, instead of drowning in this sea of danger.
Eventually, my fingers wrap themselves around the door handle and I’m able to yank it open. I’m aware someone might be calling my name behind me, but I can’t stop now, I must get outside, it’s the only way to survive.
Finally, I’m able to escape from the pub and stand underneath the edge of the thatched roof. My back is firmly pressed against the cool, whitewashed wall, and this is the only thing keeping me upright. I begin to draw great gulps of fresh air to make up for the oxygen I’d been lacking when I was drowning.
After what feels like hours, but is likely only a few minutes, I start to feel a little better. My breathing returns to normal, and I’m able to focus on my surroundings once more.
It’s now dark outside, and a clear night sky has allowed a few stars to appear above me; mixed with the light coming from the pub, they give a soft calming glow to my surroundings, which only aids my recovery.
‘Feeling better?’ a gentle voice from the dark asks.
I jump and turn towards the voice. Callum steps out of the shadows and is bathed in yellow light from one of the pub’s lattice windows.
I stare at him.No one is ever supposed to see me this way. No one. Not even Hannah and Matt have ever witnessed me like this.
‘Why are you out here?’ I demand. ‘Are you following me?’
‘I wanted to check you were okay.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You didn’t seem it when you were careering through the pub just now.’
‘Was I that bad?’ I ask, my voice calming a little.
Callum nods. ‘Here.’ He passes me a glass. ‘It’s your water.’
Callum offering to get me a drink seems like ages ago now, but again in reality it’s probably only been a few minutes.
‘Thank you,’ I say, taking it from him. ‘I’m sorry I snapped just now.’
‘It’s fine. You were in some state back there – claustrophobia, is it?’
‘Something like that,’ I lie.
‘That can be very scary.’
‘How would you know?’
