Page 59 of Hope and Happiness in Bluebell Wood
When I’d first arrived at Bluebird Cottage I wasn’t bothered by the pedestal that everyone who knew her seemed to put my predecessor on, but just lately I’d begun to feel quite inferior to this wondrous person who had apparently done so much for the village and its inhabitants. So if Evelyn dressed up as a bunny every Easter Sunday then so would I.
I wanted to start making my own mark here on Bluebell Wood, and that’s just what I hoped to begin doing after Easterwhen I would take Merlin into the school for his first trial session. I was certain he’d be absolutely fine with the children; I just hoped I’d be the same.
It was lovely having Hannah here for the weekend. Even though I’d only been in Bluebell Wood a short time, it felt like ages since I’d seen her. We’d spent the evening catching up on what had been going on in her life, and mine, and I’d been surprised at just how much I’d had to tell her about my time here so far.
The next morning, we take Merlin for a walk in the wood, and I show Hannah some of the paths we often followed on our daily trips here. It’s a warm, sunny spring morning and the wood looks particularly beautiful today. The bluebells are still in bloom, and their deep purply blue is contrasted by the bright yellow of a delicate cowslip that’s just beginning to push its way through.
‘It’s gorgeous,’ Hannah exclaims after we’ve been walking for a while. ‘So peaceful and pretty. No wonder you like it here.’
‘Yes, Merlin and I have spent many a happy hour wandering these paths.’
‘You look well, Mum,’ Hannah says, turning towards me as we walk. ‘I mean, really well. The quiet life obviously suits you. When we left you here a few weeks ago, I wondered how long you’d last, to be honest. The peace of Bluebell Wood is a little different to the hustle and bustle of London. But I have to admit solitude seems to have done you the world of good.’
‘I’m not completely on my own,’ I say, deliberately taking the path where I know Hannah will get the same stunning first view of the bluebells that I’d had. ‘I’ve made a few friends here.’
‘Really? That’s good,’ Hannah says, sounding relieved. ‘Tell me about them.’
I tell her about my fellow team mates from the quiz.
‘They sound great, I’m so pleased for— Oh, wow!’ she says as we turn a corner and see a great swathe of blue. ‘That’s beautiful. I need to take a photo.’
She takes her phone from her pocket and proceeds to take a few snaps. ‘The little yellow flowers are super cute amongst all these bluebells,’ she says, doing the same as I had: getting down low to get a better angle.
‘They’re cowslips,’ I tell her. ‘They hadn’t begun to bloom when we were here last.’
Hannah looks up at me from where she’s crouching down. ‘How on earth do you know that?’ she asks. ‘You’d have barely known these were bluebells before you came here.’
‘Don’t be daft.’
‘Come on, Mum, you hardly knew a rose from a tulip before.’
‘I wasn’t that bad! Anyway, you’re thinking aboutgardenflowers; these arewildflowers.’
‘See,’ Hannah says, standing up. ‘My point exactly.’
‘I learnt from a book – several books, actually. The lady that lived in the cottage before me was a bit of a bookworm; there’s a book on everything on her shelves.’
‘Nice. Can I take one of you and Merlin in front of the bluebells? I want to send it to Matt. She looks at her watch. ‘He’ll be in New York by now.’
‘Yes, I know.’ I gather Merlin in my arms and smile at Hannah’s phone as she holds it up.
‘And you’re all right with that?’ Hannah asks warily.
I put Merlin down again and he scampers off. ‘If you’re asking if I’m happy that my son is now thousands of miles away from me – then no. Your child never stops being a child to you, and your natural instinct is always to keep them near. To keepthem safe. But if you’re asking if I’m happy that Matt is striking out on his own, and doing something that makes him happy, then yes, of course I’m all right with that.’
Hannah just stares at me.
‘What?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know if it’s this place that has changed you, Mum, or the people that live here, but you’ve definitely changed since you came to Bluebell Wood, and only for the better.’
‘I haven’t changed that much,’ I tell her as I stride off after Merlin, and she hurries to follow me. ‘I don’t think so, anyway.’
‘You probably can’t see it,’ Hannah says, catching up. ‘But I can, and so did Matt when he was here last week. He texted me to say I’d see a difference in you, but I didn’t realise it would be to such a degree. Before, we hardly dare tell you that Matt was going to New York. In fact, we deliberately kept it a secret so it didn’t stress you out. Now you’re just chilled about it all. Actually, you’re chilled about everything.’
‘You shouldn’t have kept that a secret from me,’ I tell her. ‘What did you think I was going to do, try to stop him from going?’
Hannah raises her eyebrows at me.
