Page 62 of Hope and Happiness in Bluebell Wood
‘Ava, very pretty.’ Colin smiles again, and I recognise at once the smooth talk of a salesman. ‘Just like its owner.’
My glare doesn’t falter.
‘Look, Ava,’ Colin says, his annoyance showing again as he realises that his patter isn’t working on me, ‘this development is going to go ahead whether the village likes it or not. It’s taken me long enough to get this far. Now it’s been approved and rubber stamped, that’s all there is to it. And,’ he continues before I can speak again, ‘if I have my way it won’t stop there. This village is perfect for commuters, with the train station just up the road. It’s a direct line to London from here in under an hour. Bluebell Wood is a little goldmine as far as property development is concerned, and I for one intend to mine it for everything it’s worth.’
‘We’ll see about that,’ I reply, sounding in my mind like the dashing hero of a swashbuckling drama. If I’d had a sword, I’d have drawn it. But all I had was my basket still with a few foilcovered eggs at the bottom. So, I pick that up and hold it across myself like a shield. ‘I know your sort; I was married to one for long enough. You come here with your fancy cars, driving too fast through the village—’
‘Whatever do you mean?’ Colin asks, looking puzzled. ‘You haven’t even seen me drive— Oh wait, was that you on theside of the road with your little dog a while back? I thought I recognised you from somewhere.’
He moves towards me so we’re almost face to face. ‘You were trouble that day, and you’re trouble now,’ he says in a low voice. ‘Can I give you a word of advice?’
Bravely, I hold my ground. Inside I’m shaking, and I want to back away – run away, even. But I’m not going to let this idiot know that.
‘You clearly don’t realise what I’ve been through to get everyone onside with this project. I’m not going to back down because a few do-gooders object to some luxury homes being built on their doorstep. The sooner you and the rest of them accept that the better. So, I politely – for now, anyway – suggest that you keep your pretty nose well out of my business.’
‘Or what?’ I ask fearlessly, keeping eye contact with him.
‘You really don’t want to know the answer to that question,’ he replies, still in the same low voice, but with slightly more menace to it now.
We stare hard at each other, knowing one of us has to give any moment.
But luckily that decision is made for us.
‘Hey!’ I hear someone call, and I turn to see Lonan biking along the road towards us wearing cycling gear. ‘What’s going on?’ he asks as he reaches us and dismounts from his bike. ‘Are you okay, Ava?’
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I say, giving Colin a meaningful look. ‘Mr Cuckoo here is just leaving.’
Lonan looks between us, and to my relief seems to get it at once.
‘Well?’ he asks, his powerful dark figure towering over Colin’s slight, rodent-like one. ‘What’s stopping you?’
Colin looks back at his board still leaning to one side against the fence, and decides now isn’t the time to continue erecting it. ‘Just because the sign isn’t up doesn’t mean to say it isn’t happening,’ he says directly to me. ‘I’ll be back.’
‘Just because you repeat words from a movie, doesn’t make you the Terminator, either,’ Lonan says, and I can’t help smiling.
Colin decides it’s probably wise he doesn’t argue any more. Sulkily he picks up his mallet and we watch him skulk back to his vehicle and drive away.
‘Are you all right?’ Lonan asks again once he’s gone. ‘I mean, really? You looked like you were just about to get into a fight with that guy.’
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I tell him, but my breathing is fast and shallow as it dawns on me what just happened.
‘You don’t look it,’ Lonan says, eyeing me with concern. ‘Who is he, anyway? What is Cuckoo Land Homes? And why, Ava, are you out this early on a Sunday morning dressed as the Easter Bunny?’
Nineteen
‘I cannot believe that ’orrible man was ’ere in Bluebell Wood again,’ Alouette says angrily, waving her hands around her as we all meet up again. ‘The nerve of ’im to come ’ere and put the sign up ’imself.’
Alouette is definitely the most attractive of all the bunnies that are standing outside the church right now discussing what has just taken place at the field. She looks like a slightly holier version of Jessica Rabbit, with her red hair cascading over her shoulders, and her white bunny ears perched on top of her head. But instead of a sexy red dress, Alouette has chosen to wear skin-tight leather trousers, heeled boots and a blue jumper with a fluffy white bunny on the front.
‘He’s got some nerve, that’s for sure,’ Jonah says, shaking his head sadly. ‘And on this holy day, too.’ Jonah has stuck to his usual attire of smart grey trousers, a V-neck jumper and dog collar. His grey furry ears lean towards a more natural bunny, and he has painted a cute bunny nose, whiskers and big buck teeth on his face.
‘Men like Colin Cuckoo don’t care for the Lord,’ Jenny says,a disapproving pucker forming on her lips just under her long whiskers. ‘They wouldn’t dare; they look downstairs for their guidance, if you know what I mean?’ She folds her arms across her ample chest and cocks her head to one side inside the hood of her fluffy pink rabbit costume.
‘Sounds like it’s a good job you came along, Lonan,’ Gavin says, looking with approval at Lonan. ‘Goodness knows what might have happened otherwise.’ Gavin had until a few moments ago been wearing a Bugs Bunny face mask. It now hangs on elastic around his neck.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ Lonan says calmly, looking strangely normal in his cycling gear among this rather odd gathering of bunnies. ‘From what I witnessed, Ava had everything under control. I simply added a bit of support, right, Ava?’
‘Perhaps,’ I reply, still feeling a little shaky. I look at Callum; he’d been very quiet since I’d returned to the church with Lonan. He has one of the best outfits of all of us. He’s wearing a full rabbit costume, a bit like Jenny’s, but his is black and white and one of his long ears droops forward, making him look particularly cute. But this rabbit’s eyes don’t meet with mine and he looks away, so I quickly say, ‘Tell me more about this housing development? Jonah told me you tried to stop it?’
