Page 93 of Hope and Happiness in Bluebell Wood
Twenty-nine
Callum stares at me for a few seconds with a look of consternation on his face.
I stare defiantly back at him. But secretly I’m wishing I hadn’t said something quite so dramatic.
‘It makes absolutely no difference to me,’ he says eventually, to my surprise. ‘I still feel the same about you.’
‘How can you?’ I ask, shaking my head. ‘How can you possibly feel the same about someone who hasn’t got the same beliefs as you?’
‘Ava, everybody is different in this world, that’s what makes it such a wonderful place to live in.’
‘Hardly,’ I mutter under my breath.
‘What do you mean?’ Callum says, hearing me. ‘Diversity is what makes us so complex and interesting as humans.’
‘I didn’t mean that. I meant . . . Oh, it doesn’t matter what I mean. I’m going to get some water.’ I try to cross the bedroom. But Callum stands between me and the door. ‘Can I get past please?’ I ask when he doesn’t move.
‘Ava,’ he pleads, catching hold of my arm as I try topass him. ‘Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what’s bothering you so much?’
‘What’s bothering me is I’m thirsty and I’d like to go to my kitchen and pour myself a glass of water.’
Callum sighs, but stands back to let me pass.
I hurry downstairs towards the kitchen. I look in on Merlin as I pass the sitting room, but he’s sound asleep on the sofa, blissfully unaware anything is awry.
I stand by the sink in the kitchen and run the tap until it’s cold. Then I fill a long glass with water and stare out of the window while I sip it. Since we’ve been upstairs the sun has started to go down, leaving a peachy orange hue to the sky.
After a bit I feel Callum standing in the kitchen doorway behind me, but I don’t turn around.
‘Do you want me to go?’ he asks eventually when I don’t acknowledge his presence.
I turn now and look at him. He’s found his shirt to go with the trousers he’d pulled on before, but his feet are still bare.
‘Not really,’ I reply honestly. ‘But what other option is there?’
‘We could talk?’ Callum suggests with an earnest expression. ‘It might help.’
‘We could, but I don’t see how that will change anything. You’re a vicar, Callum, your belief is your job, your everything. I just can’t understand how you can possibly be involved with someone who doesn’t share that same belief?’
‘Why don’t you start by telling me why you don’t believe?’ Callum says quietly. ‘That might help.’
‘So you can try to convert me?’
‘No, so I can try to understand you a little more.’
I was behaving like a petulant child, and Callum was being far lovelier than he need have been. But this was important to me, and I knew eventually I was going to have to explain to him why.
‘Would you like some water?’ I ask as a peace offering. I lift another glass from the drainer.
‘Yes please,’ Callum says, understanding my small gesture.
I fill the glass and walk towards him.
‘Thank you,’ Callum says, taking the glass from me.
‘Shall we go through to the sitting room?’
Callum nods.
