Page 96 of It Always Snows on Mistletoe Square
‘They do that here?’ Sarah looks surprised. ‘Celebrate Christmas, I mean. I didn’t think there would be enough money for presents and stuff.’
‘Yeah, even though it’s a charity they’re really good. They’ve helped me and my mum a lot. My dad drank too much, and when he did he beat my mum. She was afraid for her unborn baby – my sister. So Estelle and Angela took us in and we’ve been here for a while now. It’s not for ever, just until Mum can get something sorted for us all.’
‘You’re very lucky. It sounds really nice.’
‘Like I said.’ Fred looks Sarah up and down. ‘They’re very good here. Don’t turn anyone away as far as I’ve seen. As long as they have room they’ll look after you. And I happen to know we do have room right now.’ Fred looks back at Holly House. ‘Why don’t you come in and wait for them? Your baby must be getting cold out here and you must be too. It’s a cold one tonight.’ He wraps his arms around himself and lifts his feet up and down so they are not on the cold pavement for as long. ‘I think it might snow.’
Sarah shakes her head. ‘No, I can’t. I have to go.’
Baby Ben has settled now, and she bends to put him back in the basket again.
‘Wait, you’re not thinking of leaving the baby there, are you?’ Fred asks, voicing his concerns for the first time, even though I think he probably guessed what was happening a while back.
‘I have to,’ Sarah says, standing up again with Ben still in her arms. ‘I can’t take care of him.’
‘Then stay,’ Fred says, looking worried now. ‘Honestly, they’re great here. They’ll help you until you can get back on your feet again.’
Sarah looks back down at her baby once more. Ben is now sleeping soundly.
‘That’s the thing,’ she whispers so as not to wake him again. ‘I can’t get back on my feet again.’
‘Of course you can,’ Fred says, slowly approaching Sarah on the steps. ‘Everyone can thanks to people like Estelle and Angela.’
Fred is right. It actually is starting to snow now, as large fluffy flakes begin to fall from the sky.
They both glance up for a moment before Sarah shakes her head at Fred. ‘Not me. It’s too late for me.’
‘Why?’ Fred asks, coming level with her now. ‘Why can’t you?’
‘Here.’ Sarah thrusts Ben at Fred, so he has no choice but to take him.
Sarah pulls the sleeve of her cardigan up to reveal a thin, bony arm covered in puncture marks, scabs and bruising. The horror of seeing her arm in this state is only made worse by the delicate and perfect white snowflakes falling against her skin. ‘Do you know what a junkie is?’ she asks Fred.
Fred nods while arranging Ben in his arms to protect him from the snow now beginning to fall more heavily.
‘Good, cos I’m one,’ Sarah replies pragmatically. ‘Except these days, there’s a bit more danger to it than there used to be – specially when you share needles.’
Fred stares with horror at Sarah.
‘Don’t worry, fella, you won’t catch it. Not if you’re smarter than I was. Take my advice – stay well away from drink, drugs and gambling. Or they’ll be the downfall of you – especially the drugs.’
‘Do you have AIDS?’ Fred asks, open-mouthed, while expertly cradling Ben. It’s obvious he’s had plenty of practice with his baby sister.
‘Not yet, but I’m HIV positive. Don’t worry, the little one doesn’t have it,’ she says looking at Ben, now sound asleep in Fred’s arms. ‘He was checked when he was born. I’m on borrowed time though. That’s why I need to find him a good home before things go downhill, shall we say. I didn’t want to involve the social, so I left the hospital as soon as I could without them knowing. My mate had heard of this place. “Go to Christmas House,” she said. “They’ll take care of him there.” So here I am at Christmas House on Christmas Eve. Sadly, unlike Mary, there’s room at the inn, it seems, but no innkeeper!’ She tries to smile, but fails. ‘You’ll make sure he gets to them that run this place, won’t you?’ she asks. ‘You said one of their names was Angela?’
‘Yes, Angela and Estelle. But you can’t just leave him here with me. I said I’d put some presents out, I didn’t say I’d take care of a baby until they got back. Please stay. What’s your name?’
‘No names,’ Sarah says, shaking her head. ‘But, Angela – now that has to be a sign.’
‘A sign of what?’ Fred asks, looking more desperate by the minute.
‘Nothing. What’s your name?’
‘Fred.’
‘Now then, Fred, will you please take care of my baby until this Angela and Estelle get back. No, no buts!’ Sarah says, as Fred opens his mouth to protest again. ‘I’m leaving him here whatever you say, whether it’s in that basket or in your arms. I want to be sure he’s somewhere he’ll be taken care of. I can at least give him that.’
‘If you won’t tell me your name, at least tell me his?’ Fred asks, looking down at Ben.
