Page 97 of It Always Snows on Mistletoe Square
‘He doesn’t have one yet. I didn’t want to get too attached to him. Not that that made much difference.’ Sarah pulls the blanket that Ben is wrapped in, back from his face a little so she can see him. ‘I may seem like a cold, hard bitch doing this, Fred, but believe me when I say it’s breaking my heart to leave him.’
They both gaze down at baby Ben for a moment.
‘Why don’t you name him?’ Sarah says, standing back a little. ‘I’d like that.’
‘Nah.’ Fred shakes his head. ‘I ain’t no good at that sort of stuff – where would I even start?’
‘Look, there’s this stupid tradition in my family that’s been going on for years, that every child is to be named after the letters in the word Christmas – which was one of the reasons I knew bringing him here to Christmas House was the right thing to do. It was like a sign.’
‘What do you mean after the letters in Christmas – like any of them?’
‘No, they’ve always been in order apparently. First it was a C, then an H, then an R and so on. I’m the last in the line with the second S. Dunno what’s supposed to happen now, really.’
‘You start again?’ Fred suggests. ‘With C?’
Sarah shrugs. ‘Maybe? The only reason I know this is because when my mother gave me away, she left this weird note that said if I ever had children I should try and carry on the family tradition.’
‘You were abandoned then, just like he’s going to be?’ Fred asks, looking down at Ben again.
‘Don’t get all judgy on me, Fred,’ Sarah says. ‘My mother gave me up for a better life, at least that’s what the letter said, and now I’m doing the same for him.’
‘Have you written a letter?’ Fred asks. ‘That he can have when he’s older?’
I get the feeling Fred is trying to delay Sarah leaving in any way he can, in the hope someone will come along and help him with his predicament. When Sarah isn’t looking, he keeps glancing back to Holly House, and then along the road in case Estelle or Angela should return.
Sarah shakes her head. ‘No, but you need to give him this.’ She goes back over to the basket and retrieves something from the clothes.
‘Along with the letter my mother wrote, she left me this.’ Sarah holds up what looks like a silver locket. It’s hard to see exactly what it is because Sarah has her back turned to us. ‘It’s just as well no one I live with saw this or they’d have sold it for drugs money. I’m ashamed to admit I nearly did a couple of times when I got desperate. But it’s the only thing I have that’s from my family.’ She tucks the locket into Ben’s blanket. ‘Make sure it stays with him, won’t you? At least he’ll have something to remember me with when I’m in the ground.’
Sarah begins to walk down the steps.
‘Wait!’ Fred follows her down to the pavement. ‘We haven’t decided on a name yet?’
‘I know what you’re doing,’ Sarah says, looking up and down Mistletoe Square. ‘You’re trying to keep me here as long as you can, until someone else comes along. I told you, call him what you like.’
‘Something Christmassy?’ Fred suggests.
‘If you like. He was born in the early hours of this morning.’
‘It’s Christmas Eve so … what about Joseph?’
Sarah shrugs.
‘I know,’ Fred says, as an idea strikes him. ‘What if we keep your family tradition going by moving on to an E, so the names spell out Christmas Eve?’
‘Yes,’ Sarah says approvingly. ‘I like that. You’re a smart one, Fred. You’ll go far. But a name beginning with E to do with Christmas? Good luck with that one.’
Sarah takes one last look at her baby and begins to walk away, her light footsteps leaving footprints in the newly fallen snow.
I feel like my heart might break as I watch her. I have no idea how Ben is coping with this.
‘Ebenezer!’ Fred calls out, in one last attempt to keep her there. ‘That begins with an E and is to do with Christmas.’
Sarah turns back and smiles at Fred. ‘I admire your spirit, Fred, but you can’t call a baby Ebenezer, poor mite. No one wants a Scrooge at Christmas, do they?’
Fred sadly shakes his head.
‘Why don’t you call him Ebenezer, but shorten it to Ben,’ Sarah suggests. ‘That would work.’
