Page 83 of A Secret Cornish Wish
‘Nice,’ Suzy says. ‘I could do with one.’
‘Nah.’ I look away. ‘I’m not really in the mood today.’
The other two look quizzically at me.
‘I want to keep an eye on Claire,’ I say as an excuse. ‘And I want a clear head for that.’
Rob shrugs, but Suzy looks suspicious.
‘In fact, I think I’ll go and look for her now. Back in a bit.’ I walk over to where I last saw Claire heading towards the café’s veranda, which overlooks the beach, an area very popular with visitors in the summer.
I’m going to have to be a bit more careful, I think as I walk towards some welcome fresh air.Or those who know me well are going to guess. I’ve barely got my head around it myself; I’m not ready to share my secret with anyone. Not yet, anyway.
Twenty-One
Claire is sitting outside at one of the wooden picnic tables that line the veranda. Her legs straddle the bench so she faces the sea.
‘Mind if I join you?’ I ask hesitantly, half expecting Claire to tell me to leave her alone.
Claire shrugs. ‘Free country.’
I sit down opposite her.
‘How are you?’ I ask when she doesn’t speak.
Claire turns slowly towards me. ‘How do you think I am after last night?’
‘I’m sorry, Claire. Perhaps I haven’t dealt with this in the best way. But when I found out . . . no,suspectedthat something might be wrong, I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing. You’re my friend. I want to help you.’ Claire doesn’t speak so I continue. ‘Look, if I’m completely wrong about Jonathan then tell me and I’ll back off. But if I’m right . . . ’
‘You’re right,’ Claire says in such a low voice I can barely hear her over the sound of the waves rolling in. It’s high tide so the sea isn’t any more than twenty metres away from us right now.
She glances at me, a look of total humiliation on her face.
‘Oh, Claire.’ I take hold of her hand across the table. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘It feels like it is. He makes me feel like it is.’
‘That’s what they do, men like this. They twist everything so it seems like it’s all you, but it’s not you, it’s them. It’s Jonathan who’s at fault here. Does he . . . ’ I hesitate again. I can hardly bear to think it, let alone say it out loud. ‘Is he physical with you?’ I force myself to voice it.
‘Do you mean, does he hit me? No, he doesn’t. It’s all up here.’ She taps the side of her forehead. ‘He gets inside my head. He twists everything and confuses me until I think it’s me that’s doing everything wrong.’ She pauses for a moment as if she’s trying to justify something to herself. ‘I guess I should be grateful, really, that he doesn’t hit me, so it’s not real abuse.’
‘Whoa!’ I say. ‘Stop right there. Just because it’s not physical, it doesn’t make it any less wrong.’
‘Yes, but maybe he’s just looking out for me, you know? He only wants what’s best for me and the children. Maybe this is his way of showing that he loves us, that he cares. He just goes about it in a slightly different way than someone else might.’
‘By trying to control you?’ I ask aghast, but knowing I have to tread carefully or else I’ll put Claire’s back up again. ‘I’m sure that Jonathan does love you and the children. But he doesn’t have the right to control you, to stop you living your life. Why would someone who loves you want to stop you from seeing your friends? Or stop you from going to a funeral, for goodness’ sake? Jonathan is a bully, Claire, and you need to get yourself far away from him as soon as you possibly can.’
Claire looks at me in astonishment. ‘I can’t do that,’ she says. ‘What about the children? What about our house? It’s their home. I can’t just uproot them from everything they know.’
‘Claire, you have to, for your own sake.’
‘I have to put the children first.’
‘No, you have to put you first. You have to think about your safetyandthe children’s. What if he does become physical with you, or with Alice, George or Freddie?’
‘He wouldn’t.’ Claire shakes her head.
‘He tried to with me last night.’
