Page 118 of The Little Flower Shop By the Sea
‘But it does it very well,’ Jake says, and I feel his arm around my shoulders. ‘Life is a circle, Poppy, a never-ending round of birth and death. Sometimes people and animals we care about leave us to make room for something else to live or be born into this world.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Basil may have left us so that another dog can take its place in someone’s heart, and look out for them like Basil did for you, and you did for Basil when Rose was no longer able to. You both needed each other and were there for each other.’
I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. ‘Oh, Jake, that’s a beautiful way to put it,’ I tell him, and I can do nothing but hug him once more, while he wraps his arms around my body and holds me.
‘Someone told me something similar when Felicity died. I can’t say it took the pain away, because nothing ever does that, only time. But it helped a little.’
I lean back in his arms.
‘I don’t want to take her place, you know?’ I suddenly tell him. ‘No one could ever do that. Felicity was your wife, the mother of your children. I just… well, I just like being with you, a lot.’
Jake nods. ‘I know, I feel the same. The reason it took me so long to do anything about it is I thought I was being disloyal to Felicity’s memory, and I was scared. Scared of appearing unfaithful to her, and scared of how I felt about you. I know I’ve told you before, but this is the first time I’ve cared like this about anybody since Felicity. It scares me, Poppy, I never thought it would happen again.’
‘Oh, Jake,’ I say, stroking his face. ‘I’m scared too.’
‘Why are you scared? Because I’m older, because I have a family?’
‘No, of course not. I told you last night your age doesn’t bother me, and I think the world of Bronte and Charlie, you know that.’
Jake’s face is quizzical as he looks down at me. ‘What is it then?’
I take a deep breath. ‘I’m scared of loving someone and then them leaving me. It hurts. It hurts a lot.’
‘I know it does.’ He brushes my hair away from my face as the wind tries its best to cover it back up again. ‘Are you talking about a particular person that left you?’ Jake asks. ‘We’ve all had losses in our lives that have affected us – family, friends, animals too,’ he gestures back towards the sitting room and Basil. ‘But nothing ever hurt like losing Felicity. I thought my life was over. It was only the kids and then Miley that got me through. Without them, I’d have lost the plot.’
‘I did,’ I tell him, still looking up into his kind, deep brown eyes. ‘I lost the plot for a while. I went way off the rails too, if we’re looking for euphemisms for a mental breakdown. Actually it wasn’t a while, it was more like fifteen years.’
Jake opens his eyes wide. ‘So when did you regainthe plot?’
‘Not long after I came back to St Felix.’ I look at the town down below us, then I shake my head. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this town, an enchanted little flower shop, and a group of lovely people, you included, have done more for me than fifteen years of therapists ever did.’
Jake doesn’t look in the least shocked by my revelations.
‘You know I’m going to ask this, Poppy,’ he says gently, ‘but what on earth happened to you, for you to needfifteen yearsof therapy?’
Forty-one
Rosemary – Remembrance
Jake makes us all a cup of tea and some toast.
Amber has woken up too and has joined us in the kitchen.
I think she realised something was up. The moment she appeared from her room, she asked if we wanted to be left alone.
‘No, Amber, it’s about time I told you this story too,’ I’d said, gesturing for her to join me at the table. ‘You deserve to know the truth as well.’
Amber had looked at Jake, who just shrugged, then she’d sat down at the kitchen table opposite me while Jake had made us breakfast.
Now we’re all sitting around Rose’s scrubbed wooden table, waiting. Waiting for me to begin my sorry tale.
‘OK, I’m ready,’ I tell them eventually, putting down my cup of tea.
As they both sit watching me, I take a deep breath and begin.
‘You both know that I used to come to St Felix on holiday when I was young?’
