Page 59 of From Notting Hill with Love…Actually
Sean paused by the entrance, his eyes wide in mock horror as he turned to look at me. “No one’s too old for Disney, Red—as you so rightly pointed out back there. Come on, it’ll be fun,” he said, holding out his hand to me again. “There’s no one riding it just now.”
“No, because they’re all over ten years old, that’s why.”
But I took Sean’s hand and we climbed onto one of the small boats that was trundling along in the water and allowed ourselves to be transported into the magical miniature world.
Inside the ride was split into countries, and in each country there were displays of animatronic dolls. The dolls were dressed in their national costumes performing activities fitting to their native country, and they were singing the intensely catchy theme tune of “It’s a Small World After All.”
“How much did you say you’d had to drink?” I asked Sean, as he began to hum the tune quietly to himself as we rode along. This was shortly after he’d downed the remains of his hip flask.
“Not that much, why?”
“Nothing.” I smirked.
“Look here,” Sean said, putting on an intensely serious face. “Just because this isn’t one of your big budget Hollywood movies entertaining you doesn’t mean you can be snooty.” He waved his hand in the direction of the passing display. “Those poor dolls are singing their hearts out up there.”
I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. Sean was quite funny when he was drunk.
“Right, if they aren’t enough entertainment for you, let’s create our own movie moment, right here and right now.” Sean tried to stand up in the boat.
“Sean, sit down—you might fall.”
“No—I’m fine,” he said, steadying himself. “Hey, Red, come to the front with me, and we’ll act out that scene fromTitanic—you know the one, where Leo holds on to Kate.”
Tempting as it was to see myself as Kate Winslet and add to my tally of films, my better sense kicked in. “We’ll do nothing of the sort. Sit down, Sean, or you’ll fall and hurt yourself.”
Sean clambered right up on the front of the boat, then, wobbling with his arms outstretched, he shouted, “I’m king of the world! Look, Red, I’ve done a movie for your collection.”
“Yes, you certainly have. But I’m afraid it’s much more Hugh Grant inBridgetJonesthan Leonardo DiCaprio inTitanic. Now get down from there before you—”
Too late. As we passed under a low bridge, Sean’s head collided with it and he was knocked sideways into the water.
The line of boats continued on their merry way.
“Sean!” I shouted when he didn’t immediately reappear. “Oh my God, where are you?”
I clambered back along all the boats until I came to the last one in the line. As we passed under the bridge where Sean had fallen, I looked helplessly down into the water.
“Sean!” I called again.
Just then a head bobbed up, and Sean emerged blowing a fountain of water from his mouth.
“Oh my God, Sean, I thought you’d passed out under the water. Quick,” I said, holding out my hand. “Climb back on.”
Sean shook his head, pushed his hair back off his face, and waded along through the water until he’d caught the boat up again. Then somehow while the boat was still moving, I managed to help him climb back aboard.
“What happened to you?” I asked, moving one seat ahead of him as he dripped water everywhere.
“I got caught in between the rails. I had to stay under the water while the boats went over the top of me.” He looked embarrassed.
“Jesus, Sean, that could have been dangerous. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t plan to fall in.” He rubbed the back of his head and winced.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
“What do you reckon?”
“All right, it wasn’t me that was stupid enough to injure myself at Disneyland Paris on ‘It’s a Small World.’” My mouth twitched with amusement. “And when you think of all the ways you could get hurt on the more dangerous rides too. Your heroic story will now always be—‘I nearly drowned in a three-foot-deep dolls’ lake.’”
