Page 438 of Conveniently Wed
“Josiah, you’re under the mistletoe.” Katie reached out to pull him into the doorway to the ballroom, then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down. He didn’t respond when her lips touched his, even though she pressed in.
A sinking feeling dropped in as she pulled back and exhaled. She did not have energy left for another misunderstanding. She lifted her head to find his brow still knit.
She needed to say something to distract him. “Do you remember meeting Anne, the Emmerson’s oldest daughter?” Katie said. “She’s so beautiful and witty too. Don’t you think she’d make a wonderful wife for Colby?”
The scowl stayed in place, directed at Colby. “He definitely needs to find himself a wife.”
Colby nodded. “That would be nice. Here’s to hoping a beautiful lady like Anne would want a cowboy like me. Good night now.” He turned and took the steps two at a time.
As she watched him dart away, a spurt of anger rolled through her. None of this should have happened. She turned a glare on Josiah. “You sure know how to wreck both the start and the finish of what could have been a wonderful evening.” She started for the steps, and he followed her up. When they reached the top, she did not turn around, though he called her name. She pushed her bedroom door closed behind her with the intention of locking it. His hand caught the door before it crashed against the jamb.
She whirled to face him, and the insolent glare on his face only raised her ire more. “What has gotten into you? You’re acting like a jealous little boy. It was a simple peck on my cheek, no more than Clarisse and a hundred other women planted on your face tonight, including the little blonde hanging on your arm, Laurie Trifle or Trivial or whatever her name is. And yet you act like we committed a crime.”
“There is nowein this Katherine. Onlyyou. I don’t blame Colby one whit, but you…you dress to entice. Did you see where Colby’s eyes were when you came down those steps? And you sweet-talk without any idea the effect you have on men.”
She could not stem the tears that filled her eyes. “I dressed for you. I danced only with you. I stood by your side. I hate parties, but I worked tirelessly for weeks to prepare—all for you.”
His frown softened, and he grazed his hand gently down her cheek.
But his touch only added another emotion to the mass roiling inside her. She pulled away. “Get out of my bedroom.”
“I didn’t mean what I said?—”
“Out.” She pointed toward the hallway as tears streamed down her face.
The lines of his shoulders sagged as he turned and obeyed her demand.
Josiah thrashed about on his bed. Her soft weeping whispered through the walls. Where had such jealousy come from? He’d never been that way with Georgina, but he’d known Georgina loved him.
What he witnessed—the sparkle of merriment in her eyes as she looked up at Colby with a look that should be reserved only for him. Where was the distinction, the favor, the love he craved? After listening to Katherine’s memories of Charles when she shared them with Colby, he knew she’d been far more in love with him than Josiah cared to admit. Maybe she would never get over the man.
But what was fair to expect of her when he was the one who’d pressed her into marriage? Could he come to peace with something less? The something they had? Their growing friendship and the fact no other man shared her bed—was that enough? A weighty sadness filled his soul. Grief—different than what he’d experienced when Georgina died, but grief nonetheless—pressed in as he came to terms with the truth. He needed to accept what he could not change.
But one thing that was not in question was that he had been wrong tonight, and he had to set things right. His jealousy had beenjus-lousy,as Delilah would say. He took a moment to pray, although he wasn’t sure it would help. But he needed strength and the words to own his bad behavior and win back her trust. “Oh, God, I’ve hurt her. Help me.”
Did God mind a simple heartfelt prayer? Hopefully not, for it was all he knew.
He threw the covers off and slipped out of bed. His slight rap on the door between the rooms brought no response. With a deep breath, he turned the knob and found it unlocked.
“Kat,” he whispered into the dark. “I was wrong.” He moved to stand beside her bed. “Please, forgive me.”
A sob followed, then a hiccup. Her body moved beneath the covers as she shuddered.
He eased down on the edge of the bed, unsure what to do.
“If…” The word drifted up from the covers, sounding half-strangled. “If you really believe I seek the attention of other men after all I’ve told you about my past, then you don’t know me.”
He placed his hand on her back. “I didn’t mean it. I was jealous and wrong to say what I did.”
She turned toward him. “You’re my husband, Josiah. I share my life with you. All I have, I give to you.”
He pulled her close. “I know. I’m sorry.” As he kissed her brow, she melted into his embrace. He lifted her in his arms and carried her through the door to his bed. After laying her down, he slipped in beside her.
She reached up to kiss his lips.
“Sleep now, my love. You’ve had a long day.” He rolled her into the curve of his body and held her close, realizing he had called her his love when he had vowed not to. But how could he say less when that’s what she was? His love. His heart. His personal agony.
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