Page 49 of In the Ravenous Dark
“And it’s a burden usually borne by royal women,” Lydea adds. “Fancy that.”
“But that’s because the women of Athanatos’s line have the greater aptitude for blood magic, didn’t you know?”
I don’t need Japha’s sardonic tone—or the evidence presented by Japha themself—to doubt this. It seems that royal women have been intentionally saddled with their bloodlines like horses and made to bear guardians.
As if reading my mind, Lydea laughs humorlessly, gently jostling my head. “Women get all the short sticks, so why not?”
I want to ask more, but our little trio has doubtlessly reached the limits of what’s safe to discuss. After all, it isn’t just the three of us in the room. Graecus and Damios might be listening in, not just Ivrilos. I don’t want their dead ears perking up any more than they already might be.
Japha seems to sense my nervousness. “Now, are yousureAlldan’s stick is short?”
Lydea hurls a pillow at them. “You’re welcome to find out, ifyou want.” She pauses, blinking. “Wouldyou want? I mean hypothetically. I haven’t ever asked your preferences, dear cousin.”
Japha spreads their arms wide. “I’m with Rovan. Select the prettiest to kiss, whatever is between their legs, but alsobethe prettiest. I’m the best of both worlds… nay, myownworld… something in between and also nowhere else. Perfectly unique.” They frame their face with waggling, bejeweled fingers.
I laugh. “It’s difficult to argue with that logic. Unfortunately, while we’re together on our preferences in others, I’m with Lydea when it comes to herself. I feel pretty thoroughly a woman.”
Japha shrugs. “Not everyone can be as perfect as I.” They glance coyly at me through dark lashes. “You are gorgeous, though, so anytime you get sick of my sweet cousin Lydea…”
The princess nudges me with a thrust of her hip, giving me that wicked grin that I’m beginning to love. “You’re not beholden to me, dear. I would neither expect it nor desire it, not with how many rules we already must follow. I would only appreciate it if you consideredsharingyour affections.”
Something about that sounds almost exactly right to me, but then I squint at Japha, whose finer details may be a little blurred by the wine. “You’re not serious.”
Japha raises an eyebrow. “And cross Cousin Kineas?” They purse their lips, staring back up at the ceiling. “It would almost be worth it just for that, but no. In all honesty, I… I’ve never been inspired to do much more than kiss anyone, perhaps leg wrestle at the most. No matter how beautiful they are. I’ve never sought it out. Ever.Ican, I just don’t care to.” Despite their initial hesitation, they sound matter-of-fact, not embarrassed. Japha is never embarrassed, and I admire that about them. “All the more reason I wasn’t looking forward to this betrothal, even with someone as lovely as Helena. I know I should count myself lucky to have her, consideringmy options. She’s kind, someone I could care for, and I don’t want to hurt her. Some hurts can’t be avoided, for either of us, but I can try my best… which probably means not kissingyou, my lovely,” Japha adds with a wink for me.
“Wish I could say my betrothed was someone I could care for,” Lydea mutters—accepting Japha, just like that.I admire that about her, also: her ability to take people like me and Japha exactly as we are. “I think Alldan dislikes me more than I him,” she muses, “even if he does a better job at hiding it.”
Here is where I’m supposed to complain about Kineas, but I don’t want to. Not that I don’t trust Lydea and Japha to commiserate. Kineas simply makes me sick to think about.
“What Alldandoesn’thide,” Lydea continues, “is his abject horror at the thought of my sister in the necropolis. I can relate. But the two of them spent some time together before she was banished there, sinceIwouldn’t socialize with him. I think he’s infatuated. Under normal circumstances, I would encourage him. Poor fool. Now there’s only me.”
She doesn’t sound very sympathetic.
“If Helena ever takes another lover because I can’t offer her what she needs,” Japha says suddenly, “I would welcome it. I don’t blame my aunt Penelope, you know,” they add, glancing at us sideways, “for charming my father in my mother’s stead. They were all forced into roles they didn’t want, and they were rebelling—something I can definitely get behind. But even if theyhadn’tbeen forced to be with anyone, and they wanted to be with more than one person… I wouldn’t blame them, either. We each have different gifts to offer, so whynotshare? Be alittlebeholden, but to more than one?”
“Now, Japha!” Lydea says, sounding both delighted and calculating. “Indeed, whyshouldI treat my dalliances as lesser than my betrothal when they matter to me more?”
I surprise myself by speaking. “I think I’ve always wonderedsomething similar, but I couldn’t find the words or imagine anyone understanding. So I kept everything… light… with everyone. Temporary. Well, also because I was planning on leaving the city. But now I’m stuck.”For now, I think, and then I smile at Japha. “Just so we’re clear, I can still share with you, too, only without the kissing and bed play. Those things don’t make a friendship more important.”
Japha smiles back at me. “I know. But I’m happy to hear you say it.”
I want to savor this sudden feeling. Somehow I feel rich—truly rich despite the wealth that has already been showered upon me. Aninnerwealth. Aninnerwarmth, like molten gold in my chest.
I hold Japha’s eyes, trying to stay in this moment with my new friends, to let myselffeeland to not brush everything aside with a joke… but I can hold out only for so long. “Frankly, I’m relieved you’re not interested in me like that. It’s better for me, too.” I stretch like a cat, untangling my legs from theirs and draping my arms over Lydea, arching my back and yawning. “Having the both of you that way would simply be exhausting.”
My yawn turns to a yelp when Lydea gooses my breast. When I roll to look at her in shock, she gives me another evil grin.
“I should already be enough to exhaust you,” she says.
Japha sighs, sitting up and dusting off their shoulder in mock disgust. “Should I leave you two alone?”
I can’t take my eyes off Lydea, who’s staring at me with a heavy, liquid gaze I want so desperately to sink into.
Let yourself, I think.Behere.Feelthis.This might be all you get of happiness.
So I dive in. I reach for Lydea without another thought, and soon my lips and tongue are too occupied to answer Japha. I’m lost in the silky softness of the princess, my hands tangled in her hair. Her own fingers scrabble to unwind my strophion, while she kisses me back with a ferocity that steals my breath.
Luckily, Japha has answered their own question and left the room by the time my shoulder clasps come undone and my breasts spill out of my peplos into Lydea’s waiting palms. I sink down onto her, her hands digging into me. I put my own hands to much better use, unraveling her strophion.
