Page 60 of In the Ravenous Dark
“I’m just asking you towait,” he nearly begs, holding up his hands. “I will protect you from him however I can without raising suspicions. You can feign sickness to avoid engagements, and I’ll vouch for you. I can use my magic to make you look less appealing, I…” He falters as I glower.
“That’syour idea of helping me? To turn me into a sickly shadow of myself so he doesn’twantme? He already doesn’t!”
“Then you can carry on like usual, and we take it as it comes. You’ve been able to manage him so far. Admirably, in fact—”
“How could you ask this of me?” I force him to hold my gaze, toreallylook me in the eye as he says it.
To his credit, he doesn’t turn away. “I have to. I wish that I didn’t, more powerfully than I’ve wished for anything—anythingexceptthe end of my father’s reign.” He sounds nearly helpless.
And yet heisn’thelpless. He wants me to think nothing has changed, but everything has. Now I know: He could help me if he wanted to, truly free me, but he’s choosing not to.
Sure, the lives and afterlives of countless other people hang in the balance, but still, there it is—the truth, and it cuts like a knife. I’m not sure why. What else did I expect from him? Even so, a fierce heat stings my eyes.
“Rovan…”
I stand abruptly and stalk away from my guardian, snuffing the fire in its gaudy lion’s mouth, leaving him in darkness.
At the door, I only turn enough to say over my shoulder, “I wish you luck.” And then I shut him out.
20
Over the course of the next week, everything carries onalmostas usual. Other than a royal luncheon where Kineas refuses to speak to me or meet my eyes, I’m not forced to see him. Lydea and I continue to exchange secret glances and discreet touches in the hallways, and much more in private. I spend as much time as possible with both her and Japha. I even manage to decipher some of Japha’s notes and shakily scrawl a few of my own. We all long for freedom and adventure, and have the financial means to pursue whatever dreams we can think of—a strange new reality for me. But none of that changes the fact that we’re all still engaged to other people, bound to our guardians, and trapped in the palace.
As usual.
My guardian won’t help me, and I can’t be rid of him. Discovering that all guardians are royal hasn’t brought me any closer to figuring out how they’re bound to their wards, despite the cost of that discovery—my near death and the lives of two guards lost in a “drunken brawl.” I can barely think about the latter. And I haven’t managed to decipher the puzzle of those special sigils my father left me in his office. I even double-check his office to see if I missed something, perhaps another sigil, when I find a spare moment between social engagements and lessons. Nothing works—neither looking for more pieces to the puzzle nor further experimentation with the sigils in private. They don’t seem todoanything.
Even though Ivrilos hesitantly tries to talk to me about what happened in the royal gallery, I ignore him. He wants me to forgetabout it, after all—for everything to go back to the way it’s been. As far as he’s concerned, I’m obliging him.
Butsomethings have changed. And for me, there’s no going back.
I have to struggle not to gape whenever I pass a ward while walking down the spiraling hallways of the palace a full week later, heading to one of my lessons. Ever since that strange night, I can peer into shadows like never before.Allshadows, including those that lurk near every bloodmage. In that once-murky darkness, I now glimpse faces, flashes of hands against dark armor, the gleam of weapons.
Guardians. I can see them now, after what Ivrilos did to me. After what he gave me. A week later, it hasn’t faded.
I don’t entirely mind. It’s something different, powerful… and I like that. Even if it’s dark and dangerous.
“Rovan, mydear.”
The words make me flinch.
I turn to see Crown Prince Kineas, my wretched betrothed, striding down the hallway, attendants fanning behind him like a fluttery flock of birds. I’m pretty sure a few of them actuallyhavebirds perched on their shoulders. One has a milky white snake with yellow stripes wrapped around their neck. There isn’t time to try to slip away and escape attention, though I find myself wishing I could open doors in solid stone like Ivrilos.
“Where might you be wandering off to?” Kineas asks, the pompous ass. Before I can answer, he tosses his perfectly coiffed waves of pewter hair and adds, “It can’t be that interesting. Come.” His attendants all gather behind him as he approaches, preening.
The dance lesson I’m heading toisn’tthat interesting, but it’ll be better than spending time with him. Etiquette lessons would be preferable. Maybe even torture. But I can’t think of a way to refuse him that won’t end poorly for me.
Or, worst of all, in a threat against my mother.
I still try to step aside, nearly burying myself in a cascade of flowers along the wall. Their perfume engulfs me, and a bee drones near my ear.
“Are you sure we should be seen spending much time together before the wedding?” I ask. “Wouldn’t that be unseemly?”
I have no idea if it would be. Royals seem to do whatever they want with whomever they want—I try not to think of Lydea and bring a blush to my face—but theyalsohave endless rules of etiquette. Maybe this is one of them. I hope.
“On the contrary. According to some, we have seen far too little of each other. Besides, you should want nothing more than to spend time with me.” There’s warning in Kineas’s cold, silvery eyes.Of course.This is the language he speaks best: insinuations and threats.
Before I can recoil he seizes my wrist down low where no one else can see, hard enough to hurt. He dips his head toward my ear, where no one else can hear. The bright, romantic flowers curling all around us and the happily humming bee seem to mock me. “That wasn’t a request. Try not to embarrass yourself this time.”
