Page 74 of In the Ravenous Dark
“Wait, wait,” she says, closing her eyes and lifting an elegant hand. “This plan involves memarryingAlldan, still?” She opens her eyes to stare at me, red lips parting in shock. “And you’re fine with this? Youwantme to marry him?”
“No, of course not! I wish there was a better option. But they can help us escape, offer us sanctuary, and we can help—”
“We?” Lydea cuts in. “You meanme? You and Japha will both escapeyourmarriages,” she says, glancing between the two of us, her gaze sharp, “but I still have to go through with mine even after I’ve gone to the trouble of abandoning everything I know to run off with you?”
“Hey, this isn’tmyplan,” Japha says, raising their hands.
She ignores them, holding my gaze. Hers is shadowed. Sad. “That’s not what I meant when I said, ‘Take me with you.’”
The look in her eyes is killing me.
“I’m sorry. I just thought…” I don’t know what I thought. The plan sounded much better in my head than it does now, and it didn’t even sound fabulous then. It’s still a way for Lydea, Japha, and me to escape; for me to help Ivrilos and Thanopolis, Alldan and Skyllea; and to reach the land I’ve so long dreamed of seeing all at the same time.
And it’s utterly selfish. I know that.
“I just figured it might be a way for everyone to win?” I finish feebly.
Lydea’s gaze hardens. “Everyone except me. I can’t believe you would deny me the same freedom that you seek for yourself. I can’t believe your grand plan involves onlymysacrifice and not yours. I don’t seeyouvolunteering to stay behind with Kineas—using yourself to achieve some noble end. Only me.”
The worst part is, she’s right. Ivrilos tried to convince me to do exactly what she’s suggesting, but I refused. I came up withthisplan instead. Because I couldn’t stand Thanopolis’s prince, and I thought maybe Lydea could tolerate Skyllea’s.
“I would never ask you to stay with my brother,” she adds. “I would do anything in my power to get you away from him.”
“Kineas iscruel, Lydea!” I exclaim. “Alldan isn’t—”
“You’re going to sing his praises?” she demands, folding her arms. “My, you move quickly! He’s a complete stranger to me and yet you know him so well?” She shakes her head in disgust. “Why don’tyoumarry him, then, and leave me out of this?”
“I’m not royal,” I say, exasperated. “Skyllea has no path forward through me.”
“You mean no path to the throne,” Lydea says coldly. “And I suppose mywombis that path?”
“Only if you agree to it!” I say.
She stares at me. “Was I just a diversion for you? Did I ever mean anything more than that?”
“See, I told you,” Crisea says. “Rovan will use you and forget you, just like she did Bethea.”
This time, Lydea seems to listen to her. She takes a step back from me. Then another, toward the door.
“Lydea, wait!”
She ignores me as she speaks to the dark room around her. “Maybe I’ll just takemyselfout of here, along with Delphia and Japha.”
“Hey, now, that’s not my plan, either!” Japha says, backing away from both of us. Delphia looks helplessly caught in the middle.
And just like that, our little group is drifting away. Literally and figuratively. It feels like my heart is breaking apart with them.
“I still want you to come with me,” I say desperately to Lydea. “We don’t have to go to Skyllea! Forget I said anything about it.”
“Maybe I don’t want to go with you anymore,” she says. “Maybe I don’t want to go anywhere with anyone who would evensuggestsuch a thing. For me to let myself be used as just a part of another man’s scheme.” She smiles cuttingly. “Or should I saywoman’sscheme?”
“Lydea, that’s not fair!” I cry. “I never meant to use you!”
She shrugs slender shoulders, as graceful as ever. It doesn’t matter that I can barely see them under her death shroud. I see them in my sleep. And that might be the last I’ll see of her. She retreats all the way to the door.
“Maybe,” she says. “And maybe I don’t care about your intentions, if it all ends in the same place.” She reaches for the door latch. “Delphia, await word from me. Japha, decide who you want to go with.” And then she slips out of the room, just like that. Leaving me behind.
I can only stare at the door as it closes behind her. Japha doesn’t say anything, their eyes downcast. Delphia sniffles.
