Page 114 of The Hookup
She should have put Marie right, and not gotten involved even when she found out about the cancer. She might not have ever discovered the truth about Maggie, and he might not have revealed more of his past, but would it even have mattered if she had already walked away? Ignorance would have been bliss.
He wasn’t boyfriend material, and she had been sucked in, once again, into believing he was more. But that stopped today. They were done. She didn’t need to go and explicitly break it off with him. She had suffered enough, mistakenly thinking she could fix this man and make him love her. Luke couldn’t love anyone because he couldn’t even love himself. He was in complete denial of his issues, and there was no hope in helping a man who couldn’t see that there was anything wrong with him in the first place.
She deserved better things. A decent man, and a relationship that had a future.
~ ~
“How are you feeling now?” Amanda asked.
He was mildly irritated and hoped she wasn’t going to make a habit of calling him daily just because he was a cancer survivor. She’d only seen him yesterday. “The same as yesterday,” he replied.
“Kyle said he’d like to come and see you sometime.”
“He doesn’t have to,” he said quickly. Did he need to remind her that theirs was a dysfunctional family? That they weren’t exactly regular visitors to one another’s houses, even at times like this.
Weddings, yes.
Funerals, yes.
The next time would be whenever his old man kicked the bucket. If he could be bothered to go.
“We shouldn’t be strangers, Luke.”
He scratched his brow. God, no. He didn’t want to listen to this now. “We’re all busy, Amanda. This works for us.”
“I would like my kids to know their uncles. Is that a lot to ask?”
His head jolted back in shock. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” he said. Because it wouldn’t have been wise, her coming to see him when he was still radioactive.
“No! But we’re going to start trying soon.”
“Already, Amanda?” She was immature, and stupid to be making such moves so soon. The ink hadn’t dried long on their marriage certificate, and she was looking to get knocked up already. What if this man turned out to be Douchebag Number 2? “What’s the rush? Shouldn’t you wait and see how married life works out?” And why the hell would she want a kid, anyway? He was never going to make that mistake.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, sounding downcast. “You were in a lousy mood yesterday.”
“I’ve just had surgery for fucking thyroid cancer.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But Iknowyou, Luke. Youneverlook relaxed. You’re always so wound up.”
This was exactly the thing that Kay had said to him. He said nothing.
“Maggie said you looked well.”
“She thought I looked well?” He blinked a few times, mulling over the sentence. She could hardly say he looked like shit, could she? “Why did you bring her?”
“She wanted to come. Marie told us you were at home, and recovering from that iodine treatment—”
“Marie told you?”
“How else were we going to find out?”
“Kay never told you?”
“No. Kay told me to speak to you, but then she said you were resting. She was pretty good at being evasive. If anyone understands you, it’s her.”
He ran his hand over his stubble, thinking. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. The huge argument with Kay yesterday had wiped him out, not just physically, but emotionally and he’d felt drained ever since she’d stormed out. This morning he’d lain in bed, not caring to do anything. He hadn’t even bothered to shower.
“I asked Marie a few days later,” Amanda continued, “and she said you could do with some cheering up, and that you’d be fine by the weekend. She said you’d be less radioactive.”
