Page 66 of The Hookup
A tide of self—pity washed over her again, and she couldn’t shake it off. Christmas and New Year were the most miserable of times for single people. Even if she wanted to call and talk to Savannah or any of her friends here, with a view to meeting up with them, she wouldn’t have because she knew they would all be busy with their partners, and she would be a hanger-on. She couldn’t allow herself to be that person.
Work saved her. She worked soul-killing long hours to make up for the emptiness of her life. Nothing was more important than proving to Remington that she had this. And once the Pembroke deal was over, she would use that as a milestone to take stock of her life.
For now, Luke was the perfect antidote to her hectic working life. The sex was great, but coming home to an empty bed wasn’t. She felt hollow, cheated, almost as if she was suddenly starting to see that what she had wasn’t the foundation to anything strong, or worthwhile. There was no chance of anything long-term evolving from this.
Once the wedding was over, she would strongly consider taking Savannah’s advice and going on that man-free diet. It would help her wash Luke right out of her skin, and soul, and heart.
Luke, unlike Dean, unlike most men she had been with, wasn’t transparent. He could be tender one moment, and cold and distant the next. Sometimes, the dichotomy of his being wore her down.
She missed him, in her quiet, lonely moments and in her mind’s eye she embellished the type of man he was; she made him out to be someone who loved her, and in her imagination she saw them having Sunday brunch in a café near Central Park, then having drinks and dinner after work before going home together.
Maybe it was not seeing him for a few weeks that distorted the image she had of him, for she spent far too much time thinking about him than she should have. She was now starting to see the error of her ways. He was unreachable, and she barely knew any more about him now than she had that first time she’d met him at Savannah’s wedding.
But when he called her, a few weeks into the new year, the sound of his voice filled her with joy.
“I haven’t seen you at the bar,” he said, the words hanging in the air, like a question.
It was obvious why he’d been looking out for her.
He wanted to have sex.
She should have refused. Should have made an excuse, but the wedding was a few weeks away, and she needed to honor that invitation.
“I’m clean, by the way,” he announced. “I had the test done. Everything’s fine. I can show you the letter, for proof.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” she told him. “I’m clean, too.” She’d had her results come through as well. She was clean. Now her only worry was that she might be pregnant. She’d told him she was on the pill, but with all the late nights and her crazy work schedule, there had been a few days here and there when she’d forgotten to take it. It had only ever been a secondary backup to ensure she never got pregnant, because she never had unprotected sex. Never. And the idea that she might be pregnant filled her with dread, and a little hope. Each time she thought about buying a pregnancy kit, she pushed it to the back of her mind. It frightened the hell out of her, to find out for sure—because her whole world would change. And Luke would lose his shit.
“No back to work drinks for you and your team?” he asked.
“No time.” She laughed a little, to hide the disappointment. Why couldn’t he tell her he missed her, or ask her out to dinner, or ask her how her Christmas was?
All that time she had been away, she'd been thinking of him. Not of intimate moments, but of conversations, disagreements,momentsthey had shared. She wanted to make him happy, always, in her daydreams about him, and if that wasn't love, or a semblance of it, wanting to bring happiness to someone, she didn't know what was.
“Come and meet Marie. She wants to meet you.”
“Marie who wants to meet me?” This was new.
“She wants to see that you’re real and not an escort.”
“Why?”
“Because I told her about you. Besides, you’ve been curious about her for ages.”
“I have not been curious about her.”
“Could have fooled me.”
She was stoked that he wanted her to meet Marie, his erstwhile business confidant. Could it be that while she had spent her vacation thinking of all that was wrong with their relationship, he had spent it realizing that he wanted more?
“I’ll see if I can pass by in a hour or something.” She’d been here since 6am, and tonight she could have an early night.
“Okay. See you later.”
She put away her cell phone. So much for starting to distance herself from him. There was no point in doing that now, with the wedding only weeks away.
True to form, when she walked into The Oasis, Luke was sitting at his table in the corner with Marie. The two of them looked up at her as she walked over. Smiling, she put out her hand as Marie and Luke stood up. “So you’re Marie?” she asked, shaking the woman’s hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Marie replied. “I’m sure I’ve seen you here.”
