Page 93 of The Hookup
“She’s not,” he replied, shaking his head. It wasn’t easy to say, but necessary.
He heard Kay gasp.
“Apparently you’re not,” the nurse said, turning to Kay. “And if you don’t leave now, I’ll call security.”
Even from where he lay, he could read Kay’s face as if she was only inches away from him. She looked mad. Or hurt. Sometimes he couldn’t tell which it was.
“I’m not his girlfriend, but we meet for sex, mostly when he wants it. That must count for something.”
Seriously? She’d really gonethere?
The nurse stared at him in disgust. “Is she your girlfriend or not?” she asked. If looks could kill, he would have died already. At least he’d have been in the right place. He didn’t answer her, but looked at Kay. “You shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered. He didn’t want her to see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this apart from Marie, because Marie was the only one who had never let him down, and he was too jaded to expect more of Kay.
“Please give me a few minutes with him. I’ve only just found out now.Please,” Kay begged, looking distraught and appealing to the nurse with her newly found helpless-woman tactics.
“Five minutes,” the nurse replied, and left, looking none too pleased.
Kay rushed to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Who told you?” Though he already knew where the leak had come from.
“Who do you think?” She fixed him with eyes that were softer. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she repeated. Her whole demeanor had changed, as if she had let the hardness fall to her feet. Now she was full of sympathy, and pity, and all that other shit he didn’t want, or need.
He didn’t want or need other people being worried about him. He could handle this perfectly fine by himself.
“Because I didn’t want you to come.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t have sex with you here.”
He saw her face tilt, saw her visibly move back a few inches. Then she smiled. “I know what you’re doing,” she said, nodding her head. “I’m not going to let you push me away.”
“I don’t want you here. You should take a hint.” It was easier to be a bastard when he was lying in bed feeling sorry for himself, and hating life and the universe. A pity party wasn’t going to undo the cancer, or make things better.
“I’m slow like that,” she countered.
“Yeah, I know.” Damn it why couldn’t she just leave? “I don’t know why you came.”
“Because I needed to see you.”
“You’ve seen me now, so, you should go.”
Her mouth twisted, and she looked to be at a loss for words. It wasn’t like her. She always had a retort or two to hurl back at him. “I know you’re scared,” she said slowly, as if she was addressing a child. “You don’t have to be scared. You’re not alone, and you’re going to be fine.”
His gut hardened. This was the kind of shit he didn’t want to deal with. “Marie should have kept her mouth shut.”
“She was worried about you. I’m glad she told me.”
He didn’t want her around. She didn’t know what he knew, and she hadn’t been let down the way he had. She was digging her claws into him, trying to lay claim, hoping to turn that neediness of hers into something. Well, he had a thing or two to say to that.
“I don’t need you, Kay. Don’t feel obligated to be here because you think it’s the right thing to do. You really should take the hint and go, especially when someone begs you to. I can take care of myself.”
“Of course you can,” she said, smiling as she looked at him, holding the gaze for the longest time. Her eyes looked glassy, or maybe it was the medication, and the after effects of the various tests they had done on him today. “I know we only use one another for sex, but didn’t I deserve to be told?” she asked, surprising him with her candor.
He was silent, and listening to her voice, having her here, made a welcome change from the doctors and nurses he’d been seeing all day. “No,” he said, trying to hold firm. It was nice and all her being here, but he didn’t want her around. Couldn’t let himself rely on her, or let her think she was going to help him through this. “Fuck buddies have no obligation.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, her shaky voice revealing her hurt.
