Page 94 of The Hookup
His neck was still hurting from the needle biopsies, and it hurt to swallow. If he hadn’t been given the double dose of painkillers to help him over the pain, he probably wouldn’t have been able to say any of this to her as easily as he could. But perhaps this was a way to be done with her. His recovery wasn’t going to be instantaneous, and did he really want her hovering around him? “You were like a leech, so fucking clingy,” he said wincing as he tried to shift himself into a more upright position in the bed. “I couldn’t shake you off if I tried.”
She swallowed then, and her hand shifted to her chest for the briefest moment, before moving to her handbag—as if she needed the support of something to hold on to. “Shake me off?” she asked, her voice dropping almost to a whisper. “What are you talking about?”
“About you, chasing me.”
She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. We were only talking back then, on the island.”
“And yet you showed up at the bar a few weeks later.”
She didn’t say anything, but blinked slowly as he twisted the knife deeper. “And then at the club, when you found out who I was. When I took you home.”
“I didn’t ask you to take me home. You insisted.”
“You were desperate.”
“I was not. You asked me a number of times. You did insist.”
“I know what you women are like,” he hissed, the momentum increasing. Now that he had started, it was easier to spew it all out. He needed it done, so that she would never come back here again.
She didn’t say anything, but blinked, very slowly, and he knew this was it. Time to twist the knife bone-deep. “Like a leech,” he said, again. “I didn’t know how to shake you. I figured one quick fling might do it.”
Her brows pushed together as viciousness ripped from his lips. “Might do what?”
“I hate to break it to you, Kay, but you were a pity-fuck.” He tore in. “You did everything but practically beg me to fuck you that night.”
Her lower lip trembled, and she stepped back, visibly shaken, but silent. “You’re evil.”
“I’m telling the truth.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Just being honest.”
Her face crumpled, and he could see she fought for composure, still shaking her head in disbelief. Her brows creased and held there, an angry mark on her face which, until a minute ago, had been bathed in softness and concern for him. “You don’t mean it. You’re doing this because…because of what you’ve been through.”
He laughed. “Oh great,” he chuckled. “Now you’re analyzing me. Make it mean whatever you want, whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
“You’re heartless,” she said, her voice shaky. “I don’t know why you’re doing this. When we got together, it wasn’t like that. You know it wasn’t.”
Tell her it was. Tell her. Do it now.“Who are you kidding? It wasexactlylike that. I knew that if I fucked you, and humiliated you like that, you’d have enough dignity to know you didn’t want to come back for more.”
Her eyes glassed over, and she fought back tears.
“But I couldn’t shake you off,” he said, watching the tears in her eyes and hating himself. But he took that hatred and turned it back at her. “You settled for it. You agreed to it.”
“It was never like that.Never. You’re scared, and you’re lashing out, and you don’t mean what you’re saying.”
“Idomean it, and I’m doing you a favor by telling you now.” He attempted a shrill laugh. “Your nickname is written all over your forehead.Good Time Kay. Guys see you coming a mile off. If you played hard to get, you might get some respect from guys, instead of letting them do what they want to you, and you pretending you’re okay with it.”
She gave him one final mournful look—a look that told him he’d all but destroyed her. And then she slipped out of the room.
He would never forget the look on her face for as long as he lived. It reminded him of his mother, and how she had looked at the man who had all but killed her.
The room fell silent then, leaving him feeling more wretched than ever. He had taken her goodness, and her concern, and turned it to dust. He sank back into the bed, wanting to double over, regret and anger racking his body.
Reality struck, like a bolt of lightning. He’d gone too far this time.
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