Page 103 of Tomorrow Belongs to Us
When I return to Boston, Lance and I do things a couple would do. We go bowling one evening and watch a show the next. Then one night we go for a walk after dinner, and this time there's no rain, so our walk is uninterrupted. We stop off for coffee and dessert in a cozy little diner that’s open past midnight.
At work, and much to Preston’s shock, I announce my resignation. He had no idea I was looking to leave, so naturally he’s annoyed that not only haven't I told him, but that I’ve found a new job and I'm leaving.
I have a two-month notice period to work out at this place, and this gives me time. Time with Lance, and time to find a new home.
When I announce my good news to my family, they’re happy, but then lots of questions follow, about Lance and where I’ll be living. Secretly I sense that they’re pleased my job is so far away and I’m moving, and they think Lance and I will fizzle out.
Lance and I don't talk about it much, the new job or that I'll be looking for a new place soon, or when I'll be leaving, but we see one another nearly every night.
A week ago he invited me to an informal event where he introduced me to his work colleagues. It took place in a wine bar and not at his college. I was surprised he invited me. I took it to mean that we’re now officially an item. It was an interesting night and I had a chance to see Lance in a different environment with his peers. He's one of the youngest there. I even got to meet Lesley, the colleague he speaks of highly. She’s the one who gave me his phone number when I had to return his pen. She was warm and friendly, but not a pushover. I could tell that she was assessing me; maybe our age gap was more apparent to her experienced eye. When she asked how we met, Lance and I looked at one another. We’ve never addressed how we were going to answer that question. After a hard-to-miss awkward and very pregnant pause, the reply tumbled out of my mouth. I told her that I was crossing the street when my groceries fell out and Lance came to my rescue.
It's partially true and a good enough story for how we met the second time around.
Christmas arrives like a whirlwind and, just as we did for Thanksgiving, we celebrate Christmas with our families. This time Jensen and his girlfriend are hosting and I feel a sense of relief because my mom won't ask any probing questions about Lance in front of Jensen’s girlfriend. My mother is 'ashamed' of what happened in my past during high school—though she doesn’t know the half of it—and there’s no way she’ll bring up anything about Lance.
Lance and I exchange small, practical gifts. Scents, chocolates and books. As soon as I return, we go out for dinner and spend the rest of the night and the next day in bed.
I love being with him. I love not being alone.
I love having someone to wake up with and planning our day together.
I love this new life we have.
Weekends are something I greatly look forward to, and my work and the desire to make a mark are no longer important to me. I concentrate more on the future and where I want to be, even though it is tinged with sadness because every day I spend with Lance means we’re closer to the end. He can’t move to where I am because he has Cassie here, and he won’t want to disrupt her life.
I won’t give up the new opportunity I have, and so, we are doomed. That’s why we spend as much time together as we can. I’m not alone anymore, and I don’t want to go back to the life I had before he was in it.
One evening, after we’ve bought the tickets to watch a movie, we’re standing in line to get popcorn when Lance’s phone rings.
The sharp‘What?’coupled with the tone of his voice, catch my attention. But it’s when his face turns pale that I get alarmed.
“Cassie, calm down. Slow down, Sweetpea. Now, tell me again.” He turns his back to me and walks away. I'm left holding the tickets wondering what's going on. I move out of the line because it doesn’t look like we’ll be watching a movie. I watch and wait until Lance wanders back towards me. His phone is still stuck to his ear. “Don’t worry. I’m coming.”
“What's happened?” I ask, desperate to know, but I don’t hold his attention. He’s not even looking at me, his mind and his gaze is elsewhere as if he's lost, as if his world has imploded.
“Don’t cry, honey. I’m on my way.” He hangs up, his face tight with worry.
I tug his arm. “Lance?”
He finally looks at me. “It's Vivian. She's ... she's drunk too much, it sounds like. Cassie is panicking.”
“You need to go. Do you want me to drive? I can take you?” I offer because I don’t want him to drive in this state. I don’t want anything to happen to him.
“I need to go. Cassie sounds worried. Vivian has a tendency to over drink sometimes.” He gives me an apologetic look and rushes away.
He didn't even hear me. He wasn't even paying attention to what I said. I hope his ex-wife is okay, and I really hope that Cassie is, as well. I wouldn’t wish that kind of trauma on anyone, especially a child. I can see why Lance is so concerned that he has to go to them.
Once again it becomes obvious that this man isn’t free. The truth hits me like a sledgehammer. He might have a sheet of paper to say he’s divorced, but his ex-wife still has a hold over him. She always will because she’s not going anywhere, like my father did.
I understand this situation. She's probably drunk herself silly because, just like my mom, she can’t come to terms with the fact that the man she loves has left her. My mother also didn't handle it well.
I reel back in shock when it hits me, how similar this is to what happened in my own life. I knows what it's like and I feel sorry for Cassie. The poor girl is caught up in this mess and it’s not her fault.
I sit on one of the benches in the mall and wonder what I'm doing. Lance will never be free. He'll always be tied to his ex-wife because of Cassie. He needs Cassie in his life, but Vivian seems unable to process that she and Lance are over. She'll make his life miserable, and because of that, she’ll make my life miserable.
I look around me and see couples walking around, arms hooked, hand-in-hand, like Lance and I were just now. A bitter thought twists inside my head. What if he goes back to Vivian? That woman is capable of finding a way to make this happen. She’ll work on Cassie and pull Lance’s emotional strings, because Cassie doesn't want them to split. No child wants their parents to ever split.
Maybe my mom is right.
