Page 122 of Tomorrow Belongs to Us
“And who invites a psychotherapist to a children's party?” she cries. It takes a few seconds for my thoughts to adjust.
“Vivian. She can be conniving and manipulative like that.”
“Cassie will have more fun at our party.” Megan grins wickedly and my heart turns soft and gooey. She cares for Cassie, and I’ll bet she’s put more thought into this party than Vivian has.
It's too early to have any conversations about the future—about potential marriage and kids and my worries about being older. Would Megan even want marriage after all that she’s been through? How would she feel about being a stepmother to a ten-year-old or a teen, whenever the time is right to have that conversation. There's so much to think about and right now, I don't want to think.
I slip my hand underneath her tank top and palm her warm breast.
Fuck.
My cock turns to steel.
I move my hand away, wanting to broach the subject. “You've never asked me what went wrong in my marriage.”
Surprise lights up her eyes. “Because I've met Vivian, and it’s self-explanatory.” She’s never been nosy. Never probed, but I feel the need to tell her and now seems as good a time as any. “Why are you bringing this up now?” She now looks confused.
“Because we've never talked about it. You've never once asked me what went wrong and you were angry when I first told you about Cassie. You were angry that I'd moved on with my life, that I'd gotten over you so quickly.”
Her hands slink around my neck. “We don't have to talk about the past anymore, Lance. I've dwelt in it for too long and I want a new start.Wewant a new start.”
“I know, but this is the one thing you need to know, and I never got a chance to tell you why it happened so soon. I don't want you to think I forgot about you, or that it was easy for me, meeting Vivian and getting married.”
Her smile is soft, her expression tender. She splays a hand across my chest. “Then tell me.”
“It was one night which turned into a week. It happened soon after I moved away from Nebraska, when it was time for me to let my brother-in-law and Sarah move on in and get used to a life with just the two of them. Sarah was a little madam by then. She was walking and talking and looking more like Anna every day. I’d been getting my accreditations while taking care of them both and during that time I didn't date. I didn't make friends. I didn't want to. But then I met Vivian at the college I started at before I worked at Redmond.”
“She went to college?”
“No. It was the opening of a new library her father had paid for. He was a benefactor of the college because it was his alma mater. It was the first relationship after two intense years of looking after Brett and Sarah and grieving for my sister. You can imagine how stunning Vivian was to look at. She was charming. It was all so different from what my life had been like. The moment I saw Vivian, she made a beeline for me—”
“I bet she did,” Megan snaps.
“Yeah, she made a beeline for me, and she was charming.”
“You've said that twice.”
“Are you jealous?”
“No.”
“Good, you shouldn’t be because there is no competition when it comes to you. You're my everything, Megan. We've come so far, we've gotten over so many obstacles and I believe this is fated, you and I being together after all this time. Back then, I had no intention of getting married. I'd put my life on hold and this was all so new and unexpected for me, meeting Vivian. She was beautiful and ...”
Megan folds her arms. “Is this supposed to make me feel better?”
“I just want to explain, and then I’ll never talk about it again.” Megan purses her lips. I’m going to make her come so hard once this conversation is over with. I’m going to fuck all this talk about Vivian out of her system. I stroke her lips, wanting to soothe her. “I didn't want to marry her. She said she was on birth control and I foolishly believed her.”
“And you being a man you didn't think you had any responsibility for your actions. Silly risk to take, if you ask me.”
I cough lightly, feeling sheepish. “I was irresponsible, and not thinking straight.”
“You were probably also sex starved,” Megan adds. “But you had Cassie, so ... it was a good thing.” Her saying those words sends a rush of happiness through me.
“Yes. Cassie was the best thing to come of it.” I’m tempted to kiss Megan now, but I force myself to behave. “I had no intention to get married. I didn't even think about settling down. We were only ... we only ... it was a few nights in the span of a week and then she disappeared. She went on a cruise to Italy, and when she came back she announced that she was pregnant. I'm not a man who walks away from his responsibility.”
“Are you ...” Megan nibbles her lower lip but I know what she's thinking.
“Cassie's mine. I didn't even consider that she might not be. Not then. Not until a few years after we got married and Vivian's eye started to wander. That was a difficult time, seeing what she was really like. It wasn’t a happy marriage because I didn't fit her parents' ideal of the type of partner they had in mind for her. At parties and formal occasions, when I'd meet her friends, I felt like a fish out of water. I didn't belong. We were truly happy for that first week, but after that, things went downhill fast. Later when I had my suspicions I demanded she take a paternity test. She did, which is why I know for a fact that Cassie is mine.”
