Page 19 of Tomorrow Belongs to Us
He’s got a milkshake which he hasn’t touched. He takes a long slow breath, looks uneasy, looks away momentarily before his gaze falls on me again. “It might have seemed to you that I vanished off the face of the earth—”
“Youdidvanish off the face of the earth. It didn’tseemlike it. Youdid.” I lower my head, remembering that time well. Lance dropped me home in the early hours of the morning and I went straight to bed wearing clothes that clearly weren’t mine. Arla heard the news about my mom from her mom who was a nurse working the shift at the hospital when my mom came in. Arla told Shaun and the two of them rushed to my house early the next morning.
By then, Aunt Cherie had left to go to the hospital, and I was rushing around trying to get Erica and Jensen ready for school. I was also panicking about my exam which was later that morning. When my friends arrived I was still wearing Mr. Turner’s clothes. They didn’t know that at the time but would find out a few days later when Mr. Turner arrived at my house to return my clothes. I was at school but Aunt Cherie answered the door and she accosted me when I returned home. Arla and Shaun were with me at the time. We’d had an exam, another one that didn’t go too well for me, and the two of them were determined that we would study together. They were good to me, they were there for me, but Aunt Cherie mentioning that Mr. Turner had returned my clothes meant my little secret was out.
I insisted that nothing had happened, but my explanation wasn’t plausible given the circumstances. Rumors had already gone around the school that Mr. Turner and I were ‘close’ and him returning my clothes was too much for Shaun to take. He was angry with me, and he didn’t waste any time in ruining my reputation further.
“Megan?” Lance clicks his fingers in front of me, trying to get my attention. “You zoned out. Am I boring you?” He attempts a smile. I hate his smile. It’s a cheesy lovely dovey smile that makes my insides turn to mush.
“You don’t need to explain anything. It’s been so long. What difference will it make?”
His face turns serious. “Are you afraid of the truth? That it might give you a reason not to hate me so much.”
“I resent that you’re here, taking up my time, demanding to see me and explain things that have no relevance in my life anymore.” There’s a wobble in my voice which I’m guessing he’s picked up on because his shoulders relax. He sits back. “It’s important you know.”
I scowl and wish I hadn’t come here. “I’m busy. I have two meetings tomorrow, and I have work to do.”
“Then hear me out, just this once, and I’ll be out of your life forever.”
I fold my arms and slouch back against the cushioned booth, huffing quietly, willing him to hurry the hell up because this is torture, facing him and staring at his beautiful face. I try to keep my eyes from dipping to his chest and shoulders, but it’s not easy. I’m aware of my deep attraction to him.
“You were in the middle of your exams, and there was a lot going on behind the scenes that you weren’t privy to.”
I jolt at this. “I suffered the humiliation and the rumors. Tillie Mullins had a great time making up stories. Shaun was no better.Ihad to deal with it all, not you. You went AWOL.”
He swallows, and my gaze drops to his neck before rising to his lips which are pressed together. He looks guilty as hell. “Principal Fielding had spoken to me a few weeks earlier,” he says, finally. “He gave me a warning, said he’d heard rumors.”
“About what?”
“About us.”
“But we were careful. We …” I don’t want to revisit that time. We had started to be careful. We avoided talking much at school, but I’d see him at the library. It became our meeting place. Again, nothing happened. But it was illicit, and taboo, in a way that teachers who met their students in a place outside of school, outside of school hours, would be.
We didn’t touch or hold hands, or do anything inappropriate. But we talked. Mostly about my studies, at least it always started that way. He’d ask if I needed help with anything, he was always eager to explain topics I was finding difficult. But after that, we’d talk, mostly about his life, his sister and his new niece. That had been all he’d shared. I’d found out that there was no girlfriend. He found out about my parents and the stress at home, and with my father gone, and my mother a mess, I learned to lean on him more than ever.
I studied in the library often, but knowing that he might show up at any time was always a thrill. Then somehow, we left the library and went to a donut place way out of town. He drove.
But who does that?
With a teacher?
And that's when things changed. Lance was a good listener, and he became my friend and my go-to when times were tough. He was always careful.
Once, right after we'd had donuts, he drove all the way to his place just to lend me a couple of textbooks. He told me to stay in the car, and refused when I asked if I could go in with him. Then he drove me back and left me at the library.
There was no impropriety then, just lingering glances, a yearning I found harder to hide. Shaun and I were very much off and on then. I can’t remember if it was because I seemed to come alive at the mention of Mr. Turner, or if he got closer to one of the cheerleaders. It didn’t matter.
I snap back to the present. “Principal Fielding gave you a warningweeksbefore that night, but yet you chose to leave soon after. Were you worried that I could cost you your job?”
“It wasn’t like that,” he says.
“You could have said something to me. You could have told me before you left. You could have had the decency to explain why you were leaving.”
“I didn’t think it would be a good idea to see you, what with your exams going on, and given your home situation.”
“You helped the rumors grow by returning my clothes while I was at school.”
He looks away. “It didn’t seem appropriate returning your clothes at school—”
