Page 40 of Tomorrow Belongs to Us
“Who's the bozo? You said the other guy at work went for the same interview. Is he the guy I met?”
“It’s him. A guy called Preston. He's really feeling confident. I've been there longer than he has, but he has more qualifications. “
I want to bolster her. I have an image of her being all alone and downcast and I want to do all I can to make her feel better. “In my experience, personality, grit, hard work and a go-getting attitude—all of which you have—matter more than expensive college degrees.”
“Says the man who is complicit in getting students to rack up mountains of debt just so that they can get those pieces of paper.”
“So, uh …” It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her. My head tells me not to, but my heart pushes me into it. “This Preston guy. Is he … are you two …?”
“Are we?”
“Are you two entangled?”
“Entangled?” she scoffs. “That’s an archaic term. What century were you born in?”
“Ouch,” I groan loudly. “You talk about him a lot.”
“I don’t. You’re the one who always brings him up. Are you jealous?”
The idea of her with him is a knife twisting in my gut. “Am I allowed to be?” It’s a vague question. A feeling, probing, putting-it-out-there question. She and I are in a strange situation. I have feelings for her and now that nothing is in my way—no teacher student barrier, no marriage barrier—I’m free.
But I am old, as Cassie would say. I am older, and I’m probably not a great prospect for someone young, gorgeous, intelligent and focused like Megan. Yet the thought of her with someone young, a better catch, a better proposition, fills me with fury.
Still, she kissed me.Wekissed. There are feelings involved on both sides. It can’t just be me. Meganisattracted to me, even though whenever we talk she sounds as if she wants to rip my eyes out.
“We kissed at a dinner and drinks event one time.”
My gut hardens at the news. “And … then?” I don’t want her kissing anyone but me.
“Then nothing. I don’t want to becomeentangledwith anyone. I was a little tipsy and I should have known better.”
“You weren’t tipsy the other day, when we kissed,” I challenge. I want her to say she wanted it. My heart stops and splutters as I wait with bated breath for her to say something. Something good, and positive, and meaningful about it.
“I don’t know what that was.”
I wait for more, but she doesn’t speak. “What do you mean you don't want to be entangled with anyone?”
She says nothing.
“Who hurt you?” I ask, a gnawing feeling eating away at my gut. I hope life hasn’t scarred her. I hope her parents haven’t fucked things up completely for her. I hope I didn’t fuck things up even more.
But still she says nothing, and I press the handset closer to me, as if it’s a way to get close to her. Eleven years of nothing, and now I want all of her. I want to make things better for her because even I can see that there’s a sadness she tries to hide.
“Megan? Say something.”
“It’s late, and I have an early start tomorrow. I butt-dialed you by mistake.”
She hangs up.
Chapter 17
MEGAN
“More money will be good,” my mother says when I tell her how my interview went.
“I don’t think I’m in the running, Mom. Don’t get your hopes up for me.”
“Why not? They love you at that place.”
